Red vs Blue WarBound 3
by VirTaAshi
Summary: Book 3: Cause and a Mass Effect. Deanis and the teams are spread across the galaxy in a desperate chase after O'Malley, but this goes beyond just humanity. Language, Violence, Adult themes, Reader Discretion is advised.
1. Chapter 1: We Get Singal

**Author's Note.**

**I've been neglecting you guys, There's still more books to come. Its just that I haven't had the inspiration yet, so I'm posting what I've already written in order to kick start my thinker.**

**When we last left our hero, Deanis, she was stuck in what appears to be the Janitor's Closet along with nerd and kiss ass Simmons while both the Red and Blue teams were spread across the solar system.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – We Get Signal<strong>

Deanis watched from the room as Simmons worked on the various wires and sparks that connected to this teleporter. It was about the only one that could be found to actually access things outside of… where ever the hell they are. _Janitor's closet?_

"Okay, let's see, if I wire this thing in to that..." Simmons had been mumbling to himself for the last few hours, "maybe I could signal boost on that thing there... I might just be able to get that to work."

Something appeared, seeming to reflect within the green light of the teleporter. Deanis took a step closer to find two soldiers. They were firing at something. She squinted her eyes, looking at the details. The red soldier was a bit shorter than the Blue soldier and was firing a shotgun, he had a sergeant's emblem. The blue one didn't have an emblem.

"Sarge?" Deanis asked, walking up behind Simmons.

"Caboose, Caboose, keep them away from me!" Sarge said in the scene the portal showed, "Get that one. And that one. No no, the one with the limp! Get 'im!"

"Sarge, is that you?" Simmons asked the teleporter.

"I don't want to kill..." It was Caboose, firing a MB5A. He was back to back with Sarge, "but... I don't want to die even more."

"Hey Caboose," Deanis yelled, "can you hear us!"

"Yes, I heard you Sergeant," Caboose in the picture said.

"I didn't say anything, numb nuts," Sarge replied.

"Damn!" Deanis cursed.

"Don't worry," Simmons said, looking up at her from the floor, "If I alter a few things, we may be able to send a message to them."

"Yeah, well hurry it up," Deanis said, leaning with in the small space between the portal and the large room full of portals. Simmons returned to his work and Deanis watched Sarge and Caboose through the portal's screen.

It played out. First Sarge and Caboose were talking about some plan to steal flags before going out of sight of the teleporter's range. Deanis sighed. She was happy that she and Simmons had at least found Sarge, with the accidental finding of Caboose too, but she didn't like the feeling of helplessness.

The scene was changed to Sarge and Caboose, hold Red and Blue army flags. They were talking bout bargaining to some unseen group. Gunfire then littered the background, causing Deanis to stiffen. But something happened, Caboose jumped off whatever cliff he had been standing on, yelling in a dark voice. Like he had been possessed by O'Malley.

"I got it!" Simmons jumped up, "Sarge, Caboose can you hear me?"

Sarge within the scene turned to face the thing that had been watching him.

"Simmons 2.0?"

"He's not the only one Sarge," Deanis said.

"Deanis? Where are ya? You invisible?"

"No Sarge," Simmons explained, "She's simply not in sight of the teleporter. Listen, I reconfigured the teleporter to allow us to communicate with you. I need to get you guys outta there."

"Damn right we need to get outta here," Sarge said.

"Get to your teleporter, and I'll see what I can do from here," Simmons said, ducking back down to the opened panel in the floor.

"Okay!"

"And Sarge?" Simmons looked up.

"Yeah?"

"It's really great to see you again."

"Kiss his ass some other time," Deanis said, resting her boot on his back. She watched Sarge jump off the cliff, and now all they had to do is wait. The scene changed again to a background with rock. Sarge ran in front of it.

"Hurry up, Simmons!" Sarge yelled into the teleporter.

"Just give me a few more seconds over here, Sarge," Simmons tinkered within the panel.

"They don't have a few seconds!" Deanis yelled at Simmons.

"Stop pressuring me!" Simmons whined. That trumpet tone that Sarge plays back at Red Base was sounding in the background of where ever Sarge and Caboose was. Speaking of the later, the blue private walked into the line of sight.

"**Your toast has been burned**," He said in a raspy, dark voice, "**and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts.**" There was yelling in the background.

"Oh shut up, Caboose," Sarge commanded. Simmons jumped up, and back away nearly running into Deanis.

"Okay there, come through now!" Simmons yelled into the teleporter.

"Come on Caboose!"

Sarge and Caboose ran into the portal, appearing in the flesh and armor mere feet from Simmons and Deanis. Simmons ran into the space, jammed something in the panel before shutting it, and the teleporter's visual was cut off completely.

"Whoo," Simmons let out a breath, getting up from the closed panel, "That was pretty close, huh?"

"Simmons, you get an F in efficiency," Sarge grumbled, "But I have to give you an A+ in dramatic timing."

"Thank you Sir," Simmons saluted, "I've always felt that presentation is what matters most."

"Kiss-ass," Deanis muttered.

"What happened?" Caboose spoke up in his normal voice, "The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten. And then we were in this janitor's closet. And my throat hurts, a lot."

"Hey Sarge," Deanis said, "What was that place?"

"Deanis, I have absolutely no idea," Sarge replied and then turned to Simmons, "Son, how the hell did you bring us here?"

"Well Sarge…" Simmons start spouting about machinery that Deanis didn't exactly understand. She was a battle-ready soldier, not a fucking nerd, "…And that brought you back here. So, theoretically one of these teleporters should teleport us back to Blood Gulch, or anywhere else that we want to go. Do you understand?"

"Yes. No," Caboose was confused, "What does thermoretically mean?"

"I probably could have saved a lot of time by telling you these things worked by magic," Simmons sighed.

"I thought you told the story well," Caboose said, "I liked all the parts with me in them."

"There weren't any parts with you in them," Deanis said. As far as she could tell there weren't.

"Any idea which ones go where?" Sarge asked, looking at all the different portals.

"Man um... not really," Simmons leaned on one leg, "I found you two guys by accident."

"And I'd prefer if we didn't just use portal at random," Deanis pointed out, "One of them might send us to the sun or something."

"We should definitely take the green one," Caboose suggested.

"Okay, be quiet now," Simmons whispered harshly.

"Vic?" Sarge said suddenly, causing everyone to look at him. The CO turned away, holding two fingers to his armored temple. He was on the radio.

"So," Deanis said, "Simmons, exactly how are we supposed to get out of here?"

"I really don't know," He said rubbing the chin of his helmet, "Any of these portal could led to anywhere, and I'm not even sure how Sarge got a signal on the radio, I can't get anyone."

"Go figure."

"Oh oh oh!" Caboose said, raising a hand like a little kid.

"Caboose," Deanis dragged his name irritated.  
>"Have you tried calling Captain Muffins?"<p>

"Caboose," Deanis said, "We don't have a signal here."

"What about the sergeant?"

"He's right there!" Deanis yelled, pointing at her CO, "Why the fuck should we call him if we could just walk up and tell him something."

"How about Church?"

"WE. DON'T. HAVE. A. SIGNAL." Deanis spelt out.

"Men," Sarge said, coming up from behind Deanis, "I just got word from Command, we have orders to report to Sidewinder. That's where O'Malley is currently located."

"Fucking a," Deanis said.

"Sir, shouldn't we try finding the rest of our team?" Simmons suggested.

"How in hell are we going to find them?" Deanis said, "The only guy's whose got a radio signal was Sarge, and that was command calling him, and I'd rather not have to go through millions of teleporters, dude."

"Eureka's hammer, I've got it!" Sarge snapped his fingers in triumph, "I put a listening device in one of the suits of armor I built. We can use that to find out where they are."

"Which robot sir?" Deanis asked, "Don't one of 'em have a bomb or something?"

Sarge chuckled, "Yeah, I wouldn't turn that on. Or maybe I should. That we could follow the enormous explosion and huge plumes of smoke, directly to them. It'd be just like a homing device. But Indian style."

"You really want to find them in a hole filled with ashes?" Deanis pointed out.

"Though crudely delivered I see your point," Sarge said, and produced a strange remote control device from his combat belt, "Let's go with the listening device."

"Great idea Sir," Simmons complimented.

"Yes it was."

"Can I push the button to make it go?" Caboose asked, excited like a child, "Please?"

"How does your team deal with you?" Deanis asked, agitated.

"Okay Caboose," Sarge said, handing the blue soldier the device, "but just this once."

"Yay! Thanks!"

Caboose snatched the device and pressed one of the two buttons on it.

"What a little rascal," Sarge laughed heartedly. Deanis grumbled something, and Simmons was glaring daggers at Caboose.

"I pushed the button," Caboose stated.

"Stay away from him," Simmons said, his words quiet but dripping poison, "he's mine."

"What was that?" Deanis asked, "Fucking Jealousy?"

"-Man, I hate this. This sucks-," a voice crackled to life from the remote-control. Everyone looked at it. Static filled the background to a point where the voice was almost unidentifiable.

"It's Church!" Caboose said happily. No, it didn't sound like Church…

"-I just wanna lay around and do nothing.-"

"I think it's Grif!" Sarge suggested. The voice sounded too perky to be Grif's…

"-Right after I take this nice, warm, bubble-bath.-"

"Donut," Simmons, Sarge and Deanis stated in unison. Simmons took the device from Caboose and started fiddling with it. He opened a radio channel link with the device.

"Let me see if I can lock on to that signal, Sarge," Simmons said, "Okay got it, go ahead."

Sarge opened a com-channel to the signal Simmons sent him via radio. Simmons absent-mindedly handed the remote-control to Caboose.

"Come in, Donut, come in. Donut, do you read me? Come in," Sarge said into his the radio. Deanis opened the same channel, following Simmons's and Sarge's example.

"-Sarge, you gotta help me!-" Said a clearer version of Donut's voice, "You left me with one blue, but now there are three!-"

"Vic was right, it was a trap all along!" Sarge yelled, Deanis was hearing double from both reality and the radio, "Listen, Donut. Vic told me all about the blue plot. That fella Tucker is gonna make up things, craaazy things about Red and Blue. You can't listen to him, you just can't!"

"-Sarge, what should I do?-"

"Don't let him catch on that you know," Sarge told him, "Just act like you normally do- wait, not like you, act like someone more brave. 'N smarter. 'N more masculine, for God's sake."

"-Okey-dokey Sarge.-"

The radio clicked off.

"He's a dead man, Simmons," Sarge said after a moment.

"It's okay Sir, I thought that you two were getting too close anyway," Simmons said, "and that's not good for the chain of command."

"If I hear one more threat about Donut, I will personally plant my boot up your ass," Deanis threatened, causing Simmons to back away from her.

"Try to open a teleporter to them," Sarge commanded, "I'll see if I can locate the other armor." He reached down for his belt, when he realized that he had given the device to Simmons, who had given it back to Caboose. Everyone turned on the Blue Private. Caboose raised the remote-control, looking at the other button.

"Yeah! More button pushing!" Caboose said happily.

"Don't you dare," Deanis warned darkly.

"This is the button to find Church!" Caboose pushed the button. A resonating sound whined from the device.

"Uh oh," Sarge said, "That's not gonna be good."

"Did he just do what I think he did?" Simmons asked.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him," Deanis said.

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><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**We Get Signal - **A reference to "All your base are belong to Us".

**The start of another glorious book. Its refreshing.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 1 - We Get Signal.**


	2. Chapter 2: Someone Set Us Up The Bomb

**Author's Note.**

**Need... More... Reviews...**

**I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I'm not getting very much. There aren't very many people that would seriously go looking for something this unoriginal.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Someone set us up the Bomb<strong>

"Okay, we traced the bomb activation signal to Sidewinder," Simmons said, walking away from the teleporter, "How much time do we have left Sarge?"

"-Everyone here is set to transport-"Donut said through the radio.

"-I'm not going through that thing-" Tucker' s voice said through the radio's static, "I'm serious."

"We need to get there as soon as possible," Sarge said, "Did you set their teleporter to take them straight to Sidewinder?"

"I walked Donut through it," Simmons explained, "He says he did everything right, but I figure they have a fifty/fifty chance of ending up in Sidewinder, or in the middle of deep space."

"How 'bout us?" Deanis asked.

"I programmed ours myself," Simmons replied, "We're fine."

"I find the risks acceptable," Sarge said.

"I don't," Deanis stated, "We could lose a man to a fucking portal."

"Don't worry," Simmons said, "I doubt Donut is that dumb."

"-I never knew a Phillips screwdriver was the X one-" Donut voice said in the radio, "-Do you think it's named after a guy named Phillip? That guy Phillip must have a fucked-up-shaped head!-"

"You were saying?"

"Yeah…"

"Alright, then saddle up!" Sarge said, "Don't worry Grif and Church, here comes the cavalry! Hyaaaaa-" Sarge jumped into a nearby portal, just to appear through one across from it. "-aaaaa- oh!"

"Wrong teleporter sir," Deanis pointed out.

"The teleporter I reprogrammed is over there," Simmons thumbed into the direction of the teleporter they would be using.

"Oh well, heads up evil-doers; here we come to save the diya-ah forget it," Sarge gave up his speech, "let's just go."

The teleporter was marked by the fact that its panel was still opened. For a test run, Sarge ordered a guinea pig. So Deanis shoved Caboose through the teleporter. When they heard the blue's voice over the green light, Simmons stepped through followed by Sarge and then Deanis.

As her molecules were picked apart just to be put back together, Deanis felt the freezing cold air of the ice planet before she even reached it. She stepped out of the portal, her breath shown white amongst the cold climate air.

Sidewinder was the planet farthest from this solar system's sun, it actual required a world-sized climate control generator so that people could remain on the frozen surface for more than five minutes. There were certain areas that couldn't be help though, like the white wastelands that spotted the planet's surface. Anyone goes into those will be found a Popsicle before they realize they've taken a step.

Sucking in the icy air, Deanis stepped to the closest wall and leaned on it. It was things like this that made her miss Blood Gulche already.

"Hold a minute," Simmons said, "I'm going to connect Blood Gulch to here. Donut can you read me?"

Deanis held her arms, trying to will warmth into the armor. Red Army armor didn't have anything to warm someone up to near extremes of cold. Caboose came near Deanis, and snuggled close. She was about to smack the soldier for even touching her, but the shivering blue caused her to sigh in defeat. The kid was cold, what else could she do?

"Okay, here they come," Simmons said, stepping back from the portal and covering his arms. His armor was visibly shivering.

First a black figure emerged from the teleporter. The Freelancer didn't waste anytime in leaving the small room to the cold winter wonderland outside. Next came a clad pink solider.

"Yeahah, I knew I could fix a teleporter. I guess these hands aren't just for manicuring after all," Donut made a full body shiver from the sudden change in climate, "Yeahuh."

"OW, crap!" Out came another black figure, but the voice marked the solider as Tucker.

"What's all that black stuff on your armor?" Simmons asked. Tucker looked around, Caboose left Deanis and went up to his teammate.

"Just me? What the fuck?"

"Tucker, I am so glad to see you," Caboose said, "Here. Let me help you clean your armor off, by rubbing you all over."

Tucker left the room and to the outside, Caboose followed.

"Ooh ooh, let me help!" Donut said, following them.

"Absolutely, Admiral Butter crust."

"Don't you go catching death out there!" Deanis yelled after them.

"So what's the plan, Sarge?" Simmons asked.

"First, we need to locate Church and get that bomb defused," Sarge explained, "Then we can find Lopez, download our plans, and get back to fighting the blues."

"What about Grif?" Deanis asked, leaving the wall.

"What?"

"We need to find Grif," Deanis said, "I still need my target," She quickly added.

"Well, not every plan is perfect," Sarge said, "so I suppose we could accidentally find Grif along the way."

Tucker, Donut and Caboose walked back into the small room, Tucker's armor clean completely.

"Its fuckin' cold out there," Tucker said, blowing white air from his helmet.

"No shit, did you figure that all by yourself?" Deanis said.

"Fuck off, Red."

"Kiss my ass Blue."

Something walked into the room, catching Caboose's eye. The blue private turned, but nothing was there. There was a click of a gun's safety being turned off, and everyone looked at Tucker.

Right behind him was a large, bulky solider, clad in pure White. Judging by the size, and the fact that this soldier didn't have an emblem, Deanis figured that the solider was a Freelancer.

"Why hello Private Tucker," Said the freelancer in a British accent.

"The fuck?"

"A Freelancer," Deanis muttered, the white helmet looked down at her.

"Ah, so you've heard of us," the Brit said, "Good, I don't have to explain myself then."

Despite it all, the Freelancer sounded quite cheerful for the situation.

"You must be Wyoming," Tucker said, turning his head slightly, "I thought Tex was going to take care of you."

"Oh, dear Tex," This Freelancer, Wyoming, said, "She seems to have gotten tied up in the situation." The freelancer chuckled like it was some big joke, "Now then, on to business. I believe I have to take care of you Private Tucker."

Deanis heard Sarge's shotgun cock, then her radio came to life on a private channel.

"-Deanis do something-" Donut said on the other line in a strained whispered voice. She was way ahead of him.

"So Wyoming," Deanis said, "Where's your AI? You don't seem to have one on you." The Freelancer tilted his helmet, looking at Deanis.

"Hmm? Interesting that you can tell that," Wyoming said, "I didn't think grunts could think of that by just looking at someone."

"Well you know us grunts," Deanis turned to her side, and paced slowly. She made sure her arm was hidden enough to slip down to her thigh, "we pay attention."

"Jolly good," Wyoming said, the gun still aiming at Tucker, "Well, I'm sorry but I do have to kill your little friend here."

"Yeah," Deanis grabbed her pistol, spun around and fired, "Me too."

The bullet bounced off Wyoming's helmet, causing the freelancer to stagger back. Tucker ran the first chance he got. Deanis aimed to fire again, when the mercenary rushed her, knocking her gun to the floor and round house kicking her helmet. Deanis slammed hard into the ground.

A shotgun blast was heard, knocking the freelancer back once again.

"Get up soldier!" Sarge yelled, fire the shot gun again. Deanis ignored her disorientation and got up. Her head hurt, and any harder of a kick would've broken her neck. She was lucky.

Simmons took Deanis's arm, pulling her out of the room and into the cold climate air. The wind was freezing. Several soldiers, clad in different colors were running ahead as shotgun blasts silenced.

For a split second, Deanis thought that Sarge had died. But the CO soon joined Deanis and Simmons in the run.

"What happened to the Freelancer!" Simmons yelled while running.

"He went down!" Sarge replied, "I don't think he's dead yet, I didn't stick around to check!"

At the bottom of the cliff, all the soldiers ran into the open, just to be stopped by a rocket explosion on the ground. Everyone looked up, and found Doc wielding a rocket launcher, along with Lopez standing near him.

"**Hahahahahahahahaha!**" O'Malley laughed, "**You fools have fallen right in to my hands. Only now, do you realize the folly of your follies, hahaha. Prepare for an oblivion, for which there is no preparation!**" He went in for another round of wicked cackling.

"O'Malley!" Simmons yelled, "The Reds and Blues are working together now! You can't hope to beat us!"

"**You fool**!" O'Malley cursed, "**My metallic friend is the only ally I need. Lopez, activate weather control routines.**"

"Okay," the robot said in monotone English instead of Spanish. Electricity shot from the soldier, shooting up into the skies of the ice planet. Strange yellow symbolical runes appeared around him.

"Are those runic symbols a sign of some ancient technology?" Simmons asked.

"No, I used to draw them on my binder during study hall," Doc's regular, friendly voice replied, "I always wanted to use them for something. Aren't they cool?"

"**Shut up!**" O'Malley yelled.

"Oh, Sampson's back hair. They found our secret weapon," Sarge cursed, "I developed a weather control device, but I was missing one critical piece of technology to make it work."

"**Hahaha yes!**" O'Malley said, "**And now that I've located those "D" batteries, the Universe will be mine! Hahahahaha!**"

"Are you serious?" Tucker said, "You couldn't find D batteries."

"Only at gas stations, and they're just so darn expensive there," Sarge explained.

Deanis heard a strange ticking coming closer, and she turned. A soldier in clad cobalt blue came up next to her. The strange ticking noise was coming from his stomach. Grif came around him and to Simmons.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"You want the long version or the short?" Sarge asked and then said, "Basically you've got a fifty megaton bomb in your gut-"

"Ten sir!" Simmons added.

"And Lopez is about to kill us all."

"That didn't make any sense, what's the long version?" Church asked.

"That was the long version," Deanis said, "Short version is we're fucked."

A rocket fired past the ground, exploding somewhere behind causing the group to scatter to the wind. Church and Deanis ended up behind the same rock, the ticking noise calling on her nerves more than a little bit.

"Lay down," She commanded, Church looked at her.

"What?"

"Lay the fuck down!" She yelled, "I've gotta try to diffused that bomb somehow! I need to access your crotch."

"Don't you guys ever install anything above the waist?" Church said as Deanis attempted to rig his armor off, "So, come around here lately?"

"This isn't the time you idiot!" Church suddenly hugged Deanis and rolled over, lighting crashed into the spot they formally where. Any second later, and they'd be French toast.

"Whoa," Deanis said, "Shit."

"No kidding."

Another shot of lightening, and it was Deanis's turn to roll. They ended up with Church on top.

"You better not be thinking-"

"I think I'm more worried about the fucking LIGHTENING coming at us!"

Deanis shoved Church off to one side and she rolled the opposite, lighting struck between them. Deanis got up, pulling Church to his feet before near dragging him to the rock again. The ticking continued.

The next thing she knew was being pushed to the ground as lightening hit Church dead in the chest. Sparks and electricity shot and covered Church's armor.

"Yow, whoohoohoo!"

Deanis forced herself up.

"Oh fuck, are you okay?" She asked.

"I think," Church replied. He could talk, so he probably wasn't shot or anything. Sarge and the other came up to them.

"Hold still, son, this'll just take a second," Sarge kneeled down to Church's crotch.

"Seriously, can't you guys just install this stuff like in my chest or something?" Church suggested.

"Oh no!" Sarge stood, "That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off."

"Can't you do it manually?" Deanis asked.

"Impossible," Sarge replied, "I specifically designed it so that I wouldn't be able to defuse it."

"Why?" Grif asked.

"In case I fell in to the wrong hands, and was brainwashed to help the blues."

"Nice thinking, sir," Simmons said.

"You had to get just one last ass kiss in before we die, didn't you," Grif said.

"Church, there's only one thing I can do," Tucker said, picking up O'Malley's fallen rocket launcher. Fallen because Simmons had summoned those strange red and blue soldier from that place Sarge and Caboose were in and that were tea bagging O'Malley.

"Hehey, what the hell?" Church said.

"There's only twenty seconds left!" Simmons said frantically.

"If I blow you up before the bomb goes off," Tucker explained, aiming the launcher, "there's at least a small chance the rest of us will live."

"But the rocket'll kill me," Church countered.

"Ten seconds!"

"You're gonna die anyway when the bomb goes off!" Grif yelled.

"What can I tell ya pal," Church said, "misery loves company."

"Five seconds!"

"Wow, we're all gonna die," Deanis stated calmly, "I was thinking that maybe… there should be like some making up or some emotional shit like that."

A sniper shot was fired, hitting the rocket launcher out of Tucker's hands.

"What the hell!" He exclaimed.

"Sorry Private Tucker, but I always get my man," Freelancer Wyoming said from a nearby rock, "Say good bye mate."

"Uh guys, I hate to interrupt, but... zero seconds," Simmons pointed out. Church's stomach gave out a warning.

"Shit!" Deanis exclaimed, "Church, I-"

"What?" Church said, "Oh, son of a-"

The entire area blossomed in a white explosion.

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><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Someone Set Us Up The Bomb - **Guess.

**Nobody's dead yet. We still have Season 3 to go forth. By the way, I dare anyone to guess what Deanis's final confession was going to be.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 2 - Someone Set Us Up The Bomb**


	3. Chapter 3: Color my Bivouac

**Author's Note.**

**I'mma back, and ready to kick ass.**

**Another return of Deanis in another Chapter. I'm already done writing the third book actually, and am on for the forth. All that means is the fifth is left, and then that's the end of the Blood Gulch Chronicles.**

**Then... We can really move to the fun stuff.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Color My Bivouac<strong>

The darkness cleared, and Deanis found herself looking up at brown colored sky. Heat plagued her body, and she found herself moaning from whatever pain had once taken her nerves.

"She's awake!" Said an up-beat familiar voice, a dark silhouette filled her vision of the sky. It only took a few moments to find that the silhouette was in clad pink armor.

"…Donut?" She asked, sitting up stiff. She brought a hand to the back of her helmet. Where was she?

The surrounding area could only be referred to as a desolation of something that might've been something at one time. Large, jagged shards of what looked like ship parts stuck from the ground, reaching over 10 feet. The ground looked like burnt earth and sand. Deanis thought that maybe this was the ruins of a Covenant-Human battle ground.

"Christ," Deanis breathed, getting up and looking at the ruins, "What the hell happened here?"

"We were blasted into the future!" Donut replied. Deanis looked at him.

"…What?"

"You see," Donut explained, making hand gestures, "When the bomb went off, we were sent into the future. Sarge says that we went so far into the future that the ice age was over."  
>…<p>

…

_The Fuck!_

"Donut," Deanis said slowly, "How could a bomb send us into the future? And Second, SIDEWINDER IS A PLANET MADE OF ICE! We are NOT on Sidewinder anymore!"

Donut laughed.

"That's a good one Deanis."

"The FUCK is WRONG with you!" Deanis yelled. Donut placed a hand on Deanis's shoulder.

"I know it's hard to believe," He said, "But we all have to cope with it somehow."

Deanis's mind snapped and everything was blank.

"Come on," Donut said, "The guys are nearby."

When Deanis didn't move, so Donut pulled her along. They reached another area of the strange battlefield. An aqua soldier was out-cold on the ground; several other soldiers of different colors surrounded him.

"Hey guys!" Donut said, "Look who's awake."

"Deanis?" Simmons said, the red soldier didn't seem to process that anyone existed at the moment, "Umm, is she going to be okay?"

"She'll probably snap out of it eventually," Donut said, looking at Deanis, "I think she's still trying cope with everything so far."

"If you say so."

"Gnnmnaugh," A voice said. Tucker sat up slowly from the dirt, "what happened?"

"Hey, he's awake!" Donut said, walking over to the aqua soldier, Deanis being pulled along with him.

"I still wanna know why I don't get a laser gun," Grif said behind Deanis.

"Shut up, dumbass," Simmons said.

"Guys, Tucker's awake," Donut notified them.

"Huh?" Simmons said, and looked at Tucker, who was trying to get up, "Hey hey hey, take it easy Tucker, you've been out a while."

"And I thought I was lazy," Grif commented.

"What's going on? Who are you people?" Tucker asked, getting up and looking at each red team member.

"He has amnesia!" Donut said, "Tucker. Don't worry. You are safe. We're the reds, we are your mortal enemies." Donut realized what he just said, "Wait. That didn't sound right."

"Tucker! Tucker!" Caboose said, coming up to Tucker, "I am so glad you are alive."

"Caboose?" Tucker looked at his teammate, "Still so dumb, but you look so different."

"We're in the future!" Caboose said, motioning to everything around, "Things are very shiny here."

"The future?" Tucker said incredulous, "Oh I can't fucking wait to hear this one."

"Obviously," Sarge said, coming up to the group of soldiers, "Lopez's weather matrix combined with the power of bomb 21 combined to create an explosion so large, it caused a temporal rift in time, that cascaded throughout the blo-"

"…Buuullllshhiiiiittt…," Deanis moaned. Tucker looked at the shorter Red private.

"Is she okay?"

"I'm not sure," Simmons said, "That's the only thing she's responded to so far."

"I don't understand."

"Sarge! Can we do the skit now?" Donut asked excitedly.

"Yeah!" said Caboose.

"Yes!" said Simmons.

"I don't wanna do that dumb skit," said Grif.

"Fine," Sarge said, "But only because I wanna see Grif be miserable. I miss the old days…"

"W-what?" Deanis said, shaking her head and looking around, "What happened? What's going on?"

"Great! Places everyone!" Donut said, taking Deanis's hand and pulling her somewhere.

"Whoa! Donut hold a second!"

Donut dragged Deanis to a place that looked like it might've been a base at some moment, though only part of it was intact. Donut put Deanis standing right in front of this area, Tucker followed and stood beside her. Everyone else seemed to line up in some sort of play recital or something. Donut cleared his throat.

"The Red vs Blue players present, a Franklin Donut play," Donut said, in a deeper voice, "Written and directed by Franklin Donut. In association with Light Red Danish Productions."

"Can we just start?" Sarge said.

"And Action!"

"Hello weary traveler," Simmons said in a soft, polite voice, "we represent the timeline."

"I am the past, where things cost less, and people knew the value of a hard day's work," Sarge said, pumping up his chest, "But they only lived to be twenty-eight years old."

"And I am the future," Simmons said, "where people have no morals and no emotions but we have a bunch of kick ass gadgets."

"And I'm the present, which sucks," Grif said, "We have nothing cool, and also no morals."

"And I am the helpful narrator," Donut said, in that false deep voice," A faceless voice used by poor writers."

"You have a face," Tucker said, "I think."

"Well this is a waste of time," Deanis said.

"Shut up, audience. You're ruining my play," Donut said, then caught a glare from Deanis, "Ummm, Everything was fine in the timeline, until one day, in the present..."

"Why does bad stuff always happen in the present?" Grif asked.

"Because that's when people do stuff," Donut emphasized.

"Ah, quit yer bitching," Sarge said, "I have atrocities and a crap load of wars seemed very important at the time, but now seem trivial and stupid."

"Yeah and I've got apocalypse," Simmons said, pointing to himself, "That's way worse than anything you two dip shits have." Sarge stared at Simmons," Sorry Sir, that "dipshit" was in character."_ Quick excuse._

"Oh," Sarge said, "Well, bravo Simmons."

"One day, in the present," Donut continued, "a terrible thing happened."

"Enter Stage Left," Caboose walked into the scene, "Hello, I am stupid Private Tucker. I am going to set off a big bomb now, and totally mess things up for everyone. Because I am stupid. Turns around." Caboose turned to Grif, "Hello, present. I'm going to set off a bomb in you."

"Don't do that, stupid Private Tucker," Grif said, "That might kill me."

"Thinks about this, for a moment," Caboose looked down, like in thought.

"Caboose, stop reading your stage directions," Donut said, going up to the blue rookie. Deanis didn't see any pamphlets, then again, they could just be reading from text inside their helmets.

"You told me I was supposed to read anything with my name in front of it," Caboose countered.

"Just the lines, not the blocking," Donut said, "You're ruining my big debut!"

"I do not think we are meshing, artistically," Caboose explained, "I think you should talk to my agent."

"This is stupid, I quit," Grif said, Donut spun around to face him.

"You can't quit! End scene!" Donut said, and quickly added to the 'audience', "This has been a Franklin Donut joint."

"Listen you two," Sarge said, "You" he pointed to Tucker, "and your buddy Church set off a bomb, which when combined with the weather machinery in Lopez, made an explosion so large it destroyed the present."

"That's bullshit," Deanis said, crossing her arms.

"Destroyed the present," Tucker said, tilting his helmet, "then where are we?"

"I can't believe your believing this shit," Deanis said to Tucker. Her sentence went unanswered.

"We're in the future, numb nuts," Simmons said, then catching a look from Deanis, "uh… Sorry."

"Aren't we in the present right now?" Tucker said, pointing to the ground, "Aren't we always in the present?"

"Unbelievable, he can't cope with the loss," Simmons said quietly, "He's in denial."

"That is so sad," Grif said.

"You're just not listenin'," Sarge told Deanis and Tucker, "The present has been destroyed. It no longer exists. We are in the future."

"I can not fathom how many things are wrong in that sentence," Deanis said.

"I'm currently working on a short film to explain it," Donut said, "Tom Cruise has the script, and I hear he's veeery interested."

"Dude," Deanis turned to Donut, "Tom Cruise was a guy who lived about five hundred years ago, he'd be dead by now."

"Tom Cruise is dead!"

"Christ…"

"You're telling me a bomb sent us in to the future," Tucker said.

"Yeah, you see luckily Church was facing forward when the bomb went off, and we were standing in front of him," Simmons explained, "So that sent us forward in to the future."

"How can't people face forward?" Deanis asked, "They sure as hell can't face backward."

"You see?" Simmons said, "That's what I meant by luckily."

"What happened to Church?" Tucker asked. Everyone looked at him.

"Hmm," Sarge leaned on a foot, "Never really thought about him."

"Yeah, weird, I- " Simmons said, "I guess he's dead."

"Dead?" Deanis felt a cold lump in her stomach.

"Sounds good to me," Sarge agreed, "let's go with that."

"He could be hurt," Tucker said, "and trapped in the present."

"That's impossible, son," Sarge said, "The present doesn't exist any more. What you're proposing just isn't very good science."

"And what you're stating is proper bullshit," Deanis countered. Tucker interrupted before Sarge could retort.

"Don't you see?" Tucker said, "If Church was facing forward during the explosion, and that blew us in to the future, that could mean that he was blown backward in to the... oh no!"

"Backwards in to what?" Sarge asked, "A wall? A broom closet?"

"A big rock?" Grif suggested.

"Another big rock!" Caboose suggested.

"No!" Tucker said, "In to the past!"

Deanis looked at him.

"Bullshit."

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Bivouac** - Temporary soldier encampment in which soldiers were provided no shelter other than what could be assembled quickly, such as branches; sleeping in the open.

**The only voice of reason (and rage) goes unheard.**

**Speaking of the reds, any more screen plays from Donut and we'll have to call him "Cunningham". You'll get the joke later.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 3 - Color my Bivouac**


	4. Chapter 4: Bummers

**Author's note.**

**Another Chapter people.**

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - Bummers<strong>

"They destroyed it all," Grif said, "Those damn stupid bastards. They blew it all up! Damn them! Damn them to Hell! Those damn dirty apes!"

Tucker, Simmons, Grif and Deanis were order to scout out the area and they haven't even gotten to a good mile starter before Grif came to the conclusion of an apocalyptic catastrophe.

"Calm down Grif," Simmons said, "we don't know that the whole world is like this."

"Yes it is, they destroyed it all," Grif said, "I guess the society of men just wasn't meant to survive."

"Dude," Deanis said, "We are light years away from Earth, I highly doubt that humanity is like this. Besides, what do you mean by "They"? You mean the Covenant right?"

"Hey how 'bout this: how 'bout we explore, more than two square miles, before we jump to any conclusions," Simmons suggested.

"It was definitely nuclear weapons, that's what did it," Grif continued his rant, "And the explosions caused massive power outages which caused the failsafe to fail, which released a super bacteria from a secret lab."

"What?" Deanis said, "That's just stupid."

"That caused a huge plague, and as the victims died, they rose from the dead twelve hours later to roam the Earth and feast on human flesh."

"Oh come on," Simmons said.

"A handful of gritty survivors from all walks of life were able to keep the legions of the infected radioactive undead at bay, using only their wits, and an inexplicable comprehension of agricultural science and engineering. Everything was looking good... and that's when the meteor hit."

"I think you just quoted every crappy Hollywood apocalypse movie ever," Simmons said.

"Naw," Tucker said, "Hollywood doesn't understand apocalypse. They think that just one thing from everyday life goes away and that changes everything. Like in Road Warrior it was gas, and in Water world it was land."

"What went away in The Matrix?" Simmons asked.

"Sunlight."

"I thought the missing element was plot," Grif said.

"I'm talkin about Matrix One," Tucker said.

"Yeah," Deanis said.

"Face it," Grif said, "the age of man is done."

"Okay, let's say all that happened," Deanis said, "Where are all the zombies?"

"The meteor killed them!"

"And what about the super bacteria?" Simmons asked.

"It was infected by alien bacteria brought by the meteor, and was wiped out in a massive bacteria on bacteria plague," Grif explained, "Very ironic."

"Okay, then why haven't we been infected by the new alien bacteria?" Simmons said.

"It only infects other bacteria," Grif said, "Are you even listening to me?"

"The last time I checked Grif," Deanis said, "There are several thousand kinds of bacteria on the human body. How the fuck does your theory make sense?"

"Do you guys ever get anything done, or you do you just stand around and talk all day?" Tucker asked.

"We don't get paid enough to do stuff," Grif said.

"But what about Church, idiot?" Tucker said, "How're we gonna get him from the past to the future?"

"We are NOT in the future!" Deanis yelled, "How can you not see that?"

"We know that your in denial Deanis," Simmons said comforting, "Don't worry, we'll help you through this."

"You touch me and I'm ripping your balls off."

"I guess Church can just wait," Grif said, "That's how it usually works."

"But when he gets to the present," Tucker said, "he'll just be destroyed like everything else."

"Well, he'll just have to fix it on his own then," Simmons said simply.

"And if he's successful, he'll get to live through the coolest apocalypse of all time!" Grif said.

"Simmons, Deanis, Grif, get yer keesters over here!" Sarge yelled from afar.

The four soldiers ran to where Sarge was. Behind a large chuck of metal in the ground, stood a jeep. To Deanis, it looked like the Warthog back in Blood Gulch, mounted gun and everything.

"Look what I found," Caboose said from the opposing side of the soldiers.

"I found it," Counted Donut next to him.

"Look what I took credit for finding."

"Amazing that these two actually accomplished something," Sarge said, patting the front hood of the jeep.

"It looks like some kind of an alien transport mechanism that could be used to-" Grif was cut off.

"It's a jeep," Deanis stated stone-cold.

"You have no imagination."

"Hmmm," Sarge said, rubbing his helmet's chin, "let me see if I can get this thing working."

"With what sir?" Deanis asked, "We don't have any tools to work with and nothing to power it."

"Grif was right, Deanis," Sarge said, "You don't have any imagination."

"Thank you sir," Grif said, surprised by his CO's comment.

"Shut up, scumbag, we're not having a moment."

"Hey," Tucker said, "We need to find Church."

"He's dead, son," Sarge said plainly, "Why haven't you given up hope yet and just moved on."

"It's only been a couple of hours!" Tucker protested.

"Well this should make you feel better," Sarge said, "When his body blasted in to smithereens, at least he took all our enemies with him."

"Wow, you really lit up our day sir," Deanis said sarcastically, "I'm so grateful."

Sarge grumbled something before going down and under the jeep.

"Donut, I'm gonna need you down here," Sarge said from under the jeep, "Grif, Simmons you get in and start up the vehicle when I say."

"Yes sir."

Grif hopped into the driver's seat while Donut went under the jeep next to Sarge, there was an order to turn on his helmet's light.

"I think the jeep would look cool with better rims," Grif said, looking at the controls and the vehicle's appearance.

"Yeah, like that would work," Deanis said, getting into the shotgun said. She'd have to say, the seats were pretty comfortable and with only a thin dust cover from the burnt ground.

"It'd be cool," Grif said, "Simmons agrees, don't you Simmons?"  
>"No," the maroon clad said, "I don't think getting new rims for the jeep's a good idea."<p>

"Oh come on! If we all kick in, we can get some spinners, some kick ass subs, hydraulics!"

"I'm in," Tucker said.

"Why?" Simmons asked.

"Uh, for style?" Grif said like it would be obvious.

"For chicks!" Tucker said.

"Yeah, right," Deanis said, "Being a woman, I ain't impressed with a pimped out ride."

"I don't even think you count," Tucker said.

"Oh I'm sorry," Deanis said, "I couldn't hear you over the fact that you have a small dick."

"Oh lady now it's personal."

"Whoa guys," Simmons got in the middle, "Lets not kill each other now, okay?"

"If you ladies are through gossiping," Sarge said, standing up at the driver's side, "I could use some help fixing our vehicle."

"Oh yeah, right, here let me try," Grif started up the jeep.

"Wait!" Sarge said too late. There was a sound of something clogging and someone's scream, and the jeep died instantly.

"You idiot!" Deanis smacked Grif's helmet, "Donut's still under the jeep, dipshit."

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Donut, are you okay?" Sarge asked, bending down to the jeep's belly.

"I was just, petting, the bunny," Donut sounded like he was sobbing, "And then it went in to the soup can... and part of my hand went with it." Sarge started muttering something and went back under the jeep. Deanis got out of the jeep and went around to see to Donut.

"Donut, I told you not to touch anything. You touched everything!" Sarge yelled from under, "That's the exact opposite of touching nothing!" The jeep bounced as Simmons got in the passenger seat.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Grif asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing," Simmons said, "I'm getting in the jeep."

"What're we, on a date?" Grif said, "Get in the back."

"Oh you're so insecure."

"Will you two shut up?" Sarge said, getting out from under and standing, "We need to get this thing fixed."

"I feel dizzy, Sarge..." Donut moaned.

"Donut get out from under there," Deanis said, "Let me check your hand."

"Oh, that's just blood loss," Sarge said like it wasn't a big deal, "You'll make new blood, you just need some orange juice."

Donut got out from under the jeep, his pink armor dusty with some small spatters of oil. He held his wounded hand to his chest. Deanis almost had to gulp down the MRE in her stomach. His right hand was missing its pinky and the ring finger, and the blood was dripping off the glove. Dirt covered the wound.

"Jesus…" Deanis said, "Come over here, I need to get that clean." Donut whimpered as he dragged himself to the Red clad.

"What's the rush on getting this thing fixed, anyway?" Tucker asked. Deanis pulled some dressing and peroxide from a small medical pouch on her combat belt. She had smuggled it off the medic when he wasn't looking. She sprayed the wound, which caused it to foam with white bubbles as the cleaner did its job.

"Listen Dirtbag," Sarge said to Tucker, "I know on Blue Team you like to lollygag a bit-"

"There is no Blue Team," Tucker interrupted, "It's all a lie. Red and Blue are the same."

"Aw, don't start that crap again," Grif said.

"You sound like a conspiracy nut when you talk about that stuff," Simmons said and then added in a bad impression, "The government put a chip in my brain."

"The President can hear my thoughts," Grif mocked.

"We never landed on the sun," Donut said as Deanis wrapped his wound with the dressing. Donut leaned against her, nauseated from his blood loss.

"They put fluoride in my water!" Grif gasped.

"Actually, that one's true," Simmons stated.

"It is?" Grif said, "No wonder I listen to so much pop music."

"We're fixing the jeep because we need to be prepared," Sarge explained, "Just as our enemies are no doubt preparing to attack us at this very moment."

"But you guys think I'm your enemy, and I'm not preparing to do anything," Tucker said and then added, " 'Cept get L-A-I-D."

There was silence, except for Donut's breathing against Deanis's shoulder.

"Laid," Tucker said.

"We know," Deanis said, "Just that was Fucking L-A-M-E."

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Bummer -** A term used to describe marauding or foraging soldiers. Although armies on both sides often had rules against foraging or stealing from private residences, some soldiers often found ways to do so. Other Definitions: 1. A thing that is annoying or disappointing. 2. An unpleasant reaction to a hallucinogenic drug. 3. A loafer or vagrant

**Another chapter, whoopy-doo.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 4 - Bummers  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5: In More than One Place

**Author's Notes.**

**Another Fan-F#$ing-Tablous Chapter.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 – In More than One Place<strong>

Donut was leaning on Deanis, breathing slowly. He was asleep. Deanis and Sarge had spent the later couple of hours replacing the missing digits to Donut's hand. He now had two machine fingers. They weren't much, considering the lack of artificial nerves or prosthetic skin. The machine fingers were made from the small part lying around the jeep and the area. They were old, a bit clanky and Sarge said that if Donut did too much with them, they might actually break off the NCP, or Nerve Connection Point.

The Nerve Connection Point, as Deanis had learned, was where machine or cyborg parts connected with the actual flesh of the person. Linking machine to actual nerves and such was very painful. Donut had luckily past out before that though.

Now thinking about it, there were now three actual cyborgs on the team now. Simmons being the one mostly machine, Deanis with the artificial nerve fibers and bones in her spinal cord and now Donut with his hand. Grif could be considered Frankenstein's monster for all anyone cared. The only one considered to still be human was Sarge, though that was the physical pretense.

Speaking of Sarge, he was waiting outside of "camp". Grif and Simmons had been gone longer than they should have.

"So how is Major Muffin man?" Asked a nearby childish voice. Caboose walked in, kind of awkwardly. Deanis lazily looked at him.

"Still sleeping Caboose," Deanis said, "So you need to be quiet."

"Oh," Caboose said, "Does whispering count as being quiet?"

"No," Deanis said, "Quiet means complete and total silence."

"What's up bitches?" Tucker walked in.

"For the love of God!" Deanis yelled, "Would you people go die in a ditch somewhere? Donut's asleep."

Tucker looked at her, and the clad pink currently using her shoulder as a pillow.

"Aw no way man!" Tucker said, "Out of all the guys here, you've got chose the pink guy? Come on lady, I'm the real man here."

"What? What're you talking about?" Deanis tilted her helmet.

"Seriously, why him?"

"Huh?" Then is clicked, "Fuck dude, I wouldn't do that with Donut."

"That's not what it looks like where I'm standing."

"We are in our armor."

"So?"

"Sarge was just in here, Donut just-"

"Fuck! You had a threesome with your own sergeant?" Tucker drew back, "How come I wasn't invited?"

"For Fuck's sake, WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX!"

"What're you ladies jabbering about?" Sarge walked in, his shotgun bouncing on his back.

"Nothing sir," Deanis sighed.

"How's our princess in pink?" The CO asked.

"Still sleeping."

"Well wake him up," Sarge said, "We've gotta robot to go after."

"Robot?" Deanis asked, "You mean Lopez? Where is he?"

"With O'Malley," He said, making Deanis's stomach go cold, "In some fortress. We got a distress signal from Tex."

"Tex?" Tucker asked, "She's here? How'd she survive?"

"She must've been in the explosion that sent us here," Sarge said, "Now come on, we've gotta load'm up."

Sarge left the room, followed by Tucker and Caboose. Deanis gently shook Donut, and the pink private stirred.

"Huh?" Donut said, then yawned and stretched.

"Wakey wakey sleeping beauty," Deanis said, trying to get up, just to have Donut snuggle closer. Deanis furrowed her brow and pushed him off, getting up and brushing the dust off her armor.

"Come on Donut," Deanis said, irritated, "We've gotta go, Sarge's orders."

Donut stirred from the ground, and got up. But he stood, frozen. He was looking at his right hand, staring at the last two digits. He moved them, the joints making squeaking sounds as small pieces of metal clang together. Deanis walked next to him.

"It isn't much," She said, "But it was all we could rig up. Can't go around without all your hand now."

"Yeah," Donut said absentmindedly, he was stilling playing at his 'new' mechanical digits. No pun intended either.

"Let's go."

"Sure."

Now, the ride to where-ever the freelancer was had been cramped and damn right frightening. The jeep was a two seater, three if you count the mounted gun. Some people had to sit in other's laps. Donut got Grif's lap, for god knows why. Caboose sat in Deanis's lap, who had taken the shotgun position. The rest had to hang on to dear life to the mounted gun.

The path was bumpy, several times they had to stop because someone fell off, and there was that incident with the sharp turn…

It was a while before burnt wasteland turned into a beach. There was some sort of fortress nearby, and ahead was a figure in black armor. Grif stopped the vehicle, forced Donut off of him, and got out. Everyone followed that example.

"What took you guys so long to get here?" Tex asked, her hands on her hips and her boot stepping into the sand rapidly and impatiently.

"There's seven of us, and this is only a three seater jeep," Simmons said, "Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap."

"It was a great road trip," Donut said excited, "My favorite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally-"

"Please, let's not tell the story," Grif grunted, "Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?"

"What you find, Tex?" Sarge asked.

"Well, O'Malley's holed up in his fortress," Tex explained, "He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days now, and he's got some help, one of those religious nuts you guys picked up."

"Oh, I like them," Caboose said, "They were funny."

"Caboose, they tried to kill you and Sarge for a flag," Deanis said.

"I try not to remember the bad things about people."

"There weren't any good things about them."

"That's okay. I have a really bad memory-wow look, a beach!"

"Shut up Caboose," Sarge said, "What's yer plan, Tex?"

"Well first we have to breach the outer wall," The Freelancer explained.

"Oh. I love breaching!" Said Caboose.

"Then, we have to get past another wall."

"Two walls? Some people are so materialistic," said Grif.

"The second wall has a guard tower, and an enormous razor-sharp spinning blade."

"What that thing?" Simmons said, pointing to the large windmill like structure within the fortress, "It's spinning like two miles an hour."

"I didn't say it'd be hard to get past. After that, we have to pass the gun turrets, and break in to the building."

"And then we attack O'Malley," Sarge finished.

"No," Tex disagreed, "That's when we plant, this." She motioned to a tanish ball with a red strip around it over on the nearby dune. It had a small little black screen facing to the sky.

"We're planting a volleyball," Caboose said stupidly.

"It's not a ball, it's a bomb," Tex said.

"We're planting a volleybomb?"

"I've scouted a location inside the base where we can set it off and take the whole place down," Tex explained, "I marked the spot with a big X."

"You plan on using that thing to take out all of this?" Deanis said, "I doubt that bomb could take out a Pelican."

"The integrity of the building isn't that stable," Tex said.

"Hold a minute," Tucker said, "You scouted it."

"Yeah," the mercenary replied.

"If you got past the two walls, the huge spinning blade, the gun turrets, and made it all the way in to the fortress, why didn't you just plant the bomb then instead of putting a big X on the floor?"

"I can't carry it," Tex said, at an almost hear able tone.

"What?" Grif prodded.

"What was that?" Simmons prodded.

"It's too heavy, okay?" Tex said agitated, "You happy?"

"Yeah kinda," Grif muttered.

"I need one of you idiots to carry it," Tex said, "I don't have the upper body strength to move it on my own."

"See, girls act like they're so tough," Grif mocked, "but the first time they need someone to move a couch, who do they call."

Deanis and Tex glared at him through their helmets. He past a glance between both soldiers.

"Please don't kill me."

"Ahh, go ahead and kill him," Sarge said, walking over to the bomb, "We could use the armor for spare parts. Here, this thing doesn't look so heavy, let me t" He picked it up just to immediately drop it, there was a loud clunk, "-yooo that thing ain't movin'!"

"I can carry it," Caboose claimed, walking over to where Sarge had dropped the bomb. Deanis didn't believe he could. If Sarge couldn't pick it up, what makes an eighteen year old rookie think he can?

"I guarantee you'll need two people," Tex said.

"No it's true," Tucker said, "he's got crazy strength. Church and I think it's God's way of compensating."

"See…" Caboose lifted the bomb up, but not without difficulty. He strained to keep the thing in his hands.

"Great Paul's Bunyan, he's like an ox," Sarge commented.

"But I have no horns..." Caboose said, rasping his voice, "or lumberjack friends."

"Come on, no way it can be that bad," Grif said, walking over to Caboose, "Let me give it a-"

He took it from Caboose, but it wasn't even a second when he dropped it. If he had held on, he would've hit the ground face first. He grunted.

"…Okay, you can carry it," Grif breathed, leaning towards the ground with heavy breaths.

"Alright," Sarge said, rubbing his hands together, "then we'll storm in there, blow up O'Malley, leave Grif for dead, and maybe find some clues about what happened to Church and Lopez."

"You mean your robot? He's in there with him," Tex said.

"Lopez is in the building?" Asked Sarge.

It didn't come as a surprise to Deanis. Lopez was with O'Malley when the bomb in Church's stomach blew. She felt a pang in her chest. Thinking about Church would make her crash then and there. She might not have been able to save Church, but she could save Lopez.

"How's Lopez anyway?" Deanis asked.

"Well, when I saw him he was just a head," Tex replied, "No body or anything."

"We need to get him," Deanis said.

"Yeah, could we like hold off the bomb until we have Lopez?" Simmons asked.

"What?"

"We really need him."

"Wait let me get this straight," Tex said, "The biggest threat we know of is in that building, and you don't want me to blow it up?"

"We can't, we need Lopez's head," Simmons explained, "It has valuable information stored in it."

"Sorry, I'm going with the bomb," Tex said, "But hey, here's an idea, maybe you could find your buddy's head in the rubble when we're done."

"Come on," Grif said, "we can't lift a bomb but we can dig through rubble?"

"Sorry, but there is no way I'm letting O'Malley get away this time."

"Just hire her," Tucker said.

"What?" Deanis said.

"Hire her to help you get Lopez back," Tucker said, "She'll do anything for money."

"That's not true," Tex said quickly.

"It's not?" Tucker said incredulous, "I'll give you ten bucks to tear off Grif's arm."

"Which one's Grif?" Tex asked immediately, looking between Simmons and Grif.

"See, she's not even really on the Blue Team," Tucker explained, "She was just paid to come help us."

"He's Grif," Grif whispered, pointing to Simmons.

"How do we pay her, we don't even have any money," Simmons said, "We don't even know what money is in the future."

"Yeah, they could have shells, or laser beams for currency," Grif said.

"Laser beams," Deanis said, "Really?"

"Hyeah," Grif said, "That would be the coolest wallet ever."

"Why don't you trade her a favor?" Tucker suggested.

"Huh?"

"Have her do this for you, and then you guys owe her a favor," Tucker explained, "That's how these freelancers get stuff done, right?"

"That'll work," Tex said, "I'll help you, and then the three of you have to do something for me."

"Okay, we'll do it," Simmons readily agreed.

"Wait just a second," Grif said, "What would we have to do..."

"It all depends," Tex said.

"Like?" Deanis asked. Church already owed her about three favors.

"Like, what I need," Tex said, "To do some future job."

"But, it could be anything," Grif said.

"That's right, anything."

"...Like gay stuff?"

"I have no idea," Tex's hands were on her hips again.

"Well can we rule out the gay stuff?"

"Hey," Donut came up from behind, "how come I never get to help?"

Tex turned away the moment the clad in pink came. Deanis guessed the Freelancer didn't want to talk to the guy who had caused her so called "Death".

"Okay, we're ready to go."

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia. None.<strong>

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 5 - "In More than One Place"**


	6. Chapter 6: Religious Barbette

**Author's note.**

**...  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 – Religious Barbette<strong>

"Okay, listen up dirt bags," Sarge commanded attention, "If we're gonna invade this fortress, we need a good game plan. I have got two options we can use. Number one, we all run straight at the base in a single file line, screaming at the top of our lungs. The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we'll already be inside."

"Oh yeah right, they're not gonna get surprised," Tucker said, "they're just gonna start mowing us down."

"That's the inherent beauty of the single file line," Sarge said, "They can only kill the person in front. So if we order from least important to most important, with Tucker being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through."

"Don't you think Caboose should be in the back, since he's the one carrying the bomb?" Simmons suggested.

"Nope, Caboose is in front of me," Sarge Said, "We need someone in back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working."

"How would you know if its not working?" Deanis asked.

"If Caboose dies, I'll know we're in trouble, and immediately abort."

"I think that's a good plan," Caboose said, carrying the heavy bomb.

"Sarge, while that's the most retarded idea I've ever heard," Grif said, "I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line."

"Don't get misty, Francine," Sarge said, "We'll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill. I think we can all agree given our current situation, it's the perfect plan."

The stares and the silence that followed afterward gave Sarge the hint.

"Okay, well let me tell you about my other plan. Using parts from the Warthog-"

"I hope you've gotta better plan," Deanis said to Tex.

"-We build what I like to call "The Grif Cannon'."

"Hoh, man…" Grif said, turning around and walking away.

"Utilizing the power of the Grif Cannon, we make a Grif-sized hole in the outer wall. ...Or we paint it a very disgusting color."

"Hey Sarge," Deanis said, "Wouldn't it just be better that we split up into two groups? First will escort Caboose and the other would cause distraction and or take fire."

Sarge looked at Deanis, at first going to say something about her plan being completely foolish but then the gears in his mind started turning.

"I like the way you think."

Deanis may have come up with the idea, but she didn't exactly have any idea where to go with it. Tex supplied with that. The Freelancer explained the layout of the fortress, making that the team that takes Caboose will go around the windmill while the second would go through it. The second group would do the obvious things, making enough noise to draw off from Caboose.

The groups were decided pretty quickly. Tex would led the second group, consisting of Tucker, Grif and Simmons. Caboose's escort would be Sarge, Donut, and Deanis.

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Sarge said over the radio. Tex had ordered that they keep the radio noise down, O'Malley might jump again, "Donut, Deanis, Caboose and I will move the bomb down the staircase and along the left side of the base."

"Please hurry," Caboose pleaded, "I don't know how much longer I can talk like this."

Caboose's escort was currently in a hallway of the first wall.

"Man that does look heavy," Donut said, "You really should consider wearing some kind of supportive undergarment."

"No thanks," Caboose said quickly, "I can do it."

"Come on now, don't be shy," Donut said, "You can borrow one of mine! I'm thinking something with lace. Lace is totally in right now!"

"Lace won't be worth shit if we don't make it," Deanis said, making sure her M6D and MB5A were loaded and ready.

"Simmons, you and the two bullet magnets move up the right side and try to cause some kind of distraction," Sarge continued on the radio,"… As long as it draws their fire away from us and towards you I don't care."

"Try some dance moves!" Donut suggested over his radio, "Oh! You could do a musical number!"

"Get off the radio, Donut!" Sarge yelled.

"-I don't see any movement...-" Tex broadcasted, "-but the guns are definitely online.-"

"Well shit," Deanis said, bringing out her assault rifle, "Sounds fun."

"Okay, let's move out!" Sarge shouted.

The Escort went down the hall, going down several stairs and up against the inner wall, avoiding the path to the windmill. It wasn't long before they found an slightly high ground that was deemed safe enough.

"-Alright, so far so good. Sarge, we are in position.-"Simmons said over the radio.

"Roger that. We are also in position," Sarge said, "No sign of the enemy."

"Man, this is the easiest fortress invading mission," Donut said happily, "of all time."

"Don't jinx us dude," Deanis said, leaning against the nearby wall with her rifle at the ready. The wall had a sign that said "Camp Foreman" on it.

"Maybe for you," Caboose said stiffly, "this thing is heavy, for me."

The private dropped the bomb, making everyone freeze. The thing could suddenly go off if it kept hitting the ground hard.

"Careful with that thing, Caboose!" Sarge said, "You could blow us all to smithereens!"

"Uh... Sarge?" Donut said, looking at a certain direction.

"Something up Donut?" Deanis said, coming up to him, knowing their commander wouldn't be listening.

"That…" He pointed and Deanis saw the manned turret, it was one of those religious zealots.

"Oh fuck."

"You wanna blow people to smithereens," Sarge continued, "at least make sure Grif is nearby."

"Hit the Deck!" Deanis shouted, dropping down the floor, chest first. The machine gun turret started to fire, chipping away at what little defense they had.

"-We're under fire, Sarge we're under fire!-" Grif distressed over the radio.

"Good! Now jump up and draw them off."

The fire continued from this side of the fortress. It quickly became clear that there was more than one manned turret and that nobody would be coming to save the escort team.

"Caboose," Sarge said above the firing, "we'll hold them off from up here. You take the bomb and try to sneak in the front of the base."

"Okay," Caboose crawled with the bomb down the nearest ramp to the fortress base.

"Wow, Sarge," Donut said, "You actually decided to sacrifice yourself for someone else!"

"Quiet Donut! I'm gonna need your help," He said, "When the turrets kill Caboose, I'm gonna need you to carry the bomb in to the base."

The constant barge of bullets really started to affect Deanis. In the heat of battle, she didn't like to lie down and do nothing. With a dumb idea being her only thinkable means to do something, she stood.

"Deanis! What're you doing?"

"I gonna draw fire!" Deanis leaped off the edge, bullets following her path. She ran, in zigzag, jaggedly, in circles anything just to dodge the bullets that rain from the fortress. The Zealot was having a hard time keeping up with the clad red.

Tucker appeared nearby, wielding what looked like a sword. No. Not just a sword. Deanis recognized the design and shimmer of light. Plasma sword, used by the Covenant. How on earth did he get one?

"Hey asshole," He said to the red zealot.

"Huh?"

Tucker sprinted forward, slashing the alien blade up. The plasma cut direction from the zealot's groin to about his abdomen, leaving a fatal steaming mark. The flag fanatic fell backwards, landing on the ground. Deanis, exhausted but able, walked over to the fallen soldier.

"My quest is over..." the dying man said, "I can see the flag... It's so, flappy."

"You know what I see?" Deanis said, "Your death."

She fired a burst of bullets into the zealot's face, shattering the visor and leaving a smoky, bloody mess. The battle was done. Deanis let out a breath and walked into the fortress. Might as well check on the kid, make sure that he didn't blow up or anything.

The fortress was kind of cramped considering. She found Caboose near a computer, the bomb was already placed. Caboose was looking at the computer, unmoving. Deanis was about to ask when a familiar voice came.

"Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?"

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Barbette -** Raised platform or mound allowing an artillery piece to be fired over a fortification's walls without exposing the gun crew to enemy fire.

**...**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 6 - Religious Barbette**


	7. Chapter 7: How Are You Gentlemen?

**Author's note.**

**Hello.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 – How Are You Gentlemen?<strong>

Caboose had ran out, calling for Sarge. This left Deanis alone with the computer and Church's repeating message. After a few more repeatings, just hearing his voice was enough to calm her nerves, she walked forward.

Instantly, she felt the electrical tingle in the air. The static like air seemed to ping signals off her implants. The air didn't feel angry, like O'Malley, and it didn't feel broken like Church's. It felt… Untrustworthy. Deceitful. She didn't like it.

She stepped away from the computer and away from the static waves emanating from it. It defiantly contained an AI fragment, though exactly which was a mystery.

"Caboose, what're you yammerin' about?" Sarge followed Caboose into the room, Simmons and Grif later appeared in the doorway, "Did you find Lopez?"

"Someone meaner!" Caboose replied.

"O'Malley?"

"Meaner!"

"You found someone meaner than the guy trying to destroy the universe," Grif said.

"Yes!"

"Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me?" Church's recording repeated.

"See? It's Church," Caboose said, "And he's meaner than ever!"

"_Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me_?"

"Church. I can hear you. Can you hear me?"

"_Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me_?"

"Church. I can hear you. How are you?"

"_Caboose, is that you? Can you hear me_?"

"I think it might be a recording," Simmons said.

"No Shit Sherlock," Deanis said.

"Quiet," Said Grif, "I wanna see how long this lasts."

"Church. I can hear you," Caboose said, "Do you miss me?"

"Move over, brainiac," Sarge said, pushing past Caboose and to the computer, he seemed not to notice the strange static that surrounded it, "let me see if I can get the rest of this thing to play."

Sarge knelt and began fiddling with a consul near the ground.

"I carried the bomb and found Church," Caboose said, "I, am a very important person."

"Yes we're very impressed..." Grif said sarcastically.

"Hmm. I think I can reroute power from the main coupling to the memory storage compartment," Sarge said from the panel, "Grif, we may have to use some of your circuitry from your armor's life support system.'

"Or, I could just hit the play button," Grif said.

"Are you sure?" Sarge said, "I'm already down here."

"I'm sure."

"I already got the access panel off and everything."

"Pressing play."

"Alright fine." Sarge got up and backed away, Grif stepped forward and hit the enter key on the computer.

"_Caboose, I know you're there_," Church's voice rolled from the computer, "_I'm leaving this message from two thousand years in the past. Whatever you do, don't, touch, anything. Apparently you're this culture's version of the apocalypse. You're going to destroy this building, and somehow bring about doom for their entire race._"

A thousand years? An alien race? Sudden sounds like a Marathon already.

"Mmmmmmnooo..." Caboose said, "that doesn't sound like me. I like people. And buildings also."

"Caboose," Simmons said cautiously, "what did you do with the bomb you were carrying?"

"I put it on the X," Caboose said simply, "like... I was s'posed to."

"Uh-oh."

"I think we'd better get outta here," Grif suggested nervously.

"_Whatever you do, don't touch the glowing weapon thing they have stored there_," Church's voice continued.

"Fuck, he means the sword Tucker has don't he?" Deanis said.

"_And if you do, definitely don't bring it in to the main building_."

"What's up, dawgs?" Tucker and Donut walked into the room, the sword still powered and out.

"_Otherwise the whole place is gonna lock down, and you're gonna be trapped_."

The entire facility closed up, leaving no where to run or find safety. Everyone was trapped.

"Automatic garage door," Donut said, looking at the entrance he and Tucker used, "cool!"

"Would you stop saying bad things that come true!" Caboose said to the computer, "Or... say them ten seconds earlier!"

"Tex, this is Sarge," Sarge was on the radio. The mercenary was still outside, "Do not detonate the bomb."

"-I don't have a detonator-"The Freelancer said over the open channel, "-it's on a timer.-"

"A countdown timer?" Grif asked, dumbly.

"-No, a count up timer. It goes from one, to explode-" Tex said sarcastically, "-Of course a countdown timer you idiot!-"

"I think we might be in trouble," Sarge said, "Ah fudge pumps."

It only took a minute before everything turned to chaos. Desperate screams, attempts to claw out, even crying. Deanis stood in the chaos, frozen to the spot. She was looking at the computer, like it might have a key or something. Daring a chance, she reached out and touched the computer. Something connected, shooting up her arm, her shoulder, neck, into her implants. The connection could only be broken by removing her hand from the machine.

"**Knock knock**," an emotionless digital voice said in her head, "**Hello little shisno.**"

Deanis tried to open her mouth, but an electric shock stopped and numbed the nerves. The voice was quick, it was pronounced. And she sure as hell didn't know what a shisno was. The presence from the computer began to try to worm into her mind through her implants. She steeled herself, being better prepared. The attack was slower than Omega's, less coordinated, she could defend against the mental attack with ease.

"Gamma," She muttered from shocked lips. The name came to her, like a drop into a stream, the ripples alerting the water to everything. The AI did not chuckle, it did not claw against her defenses, it sat there waiting.

"**You will have to open sometime**," the voice cooed, "**Come now, we're all friends here. You can trust me.**"

"No…" Deanis rasped, "No… I can't!"

She forced her self back, her hand ripping off the computer, cutting the connection instantly. She felt like she had just been given a tazor shot, her senses were burnt out and her arm was falling asleep from the shock waves hitting through it. Nobody noticed her struggle, too caught up in their own panic.

"We're all gonna die, starting with Grif!" Sarge yelled, "Everyone, get ready to kiss yer ass goodbye! Simmons, you can have the honor of kissing mine."

"Hey everybody, what's up?"

The one voice nobody expected to hear, the one voice that snapped Deanis from her daze. Everyone turned to look. Outside of the cage like entrance door, leaning against the bars, was a soldier in clad cobalt, a sniper across his back and a gun on his thigh.

"I am so happy that you made it in time to die with me," Caboose said, noticing Church, "We will get to be smithereens together!"

"That won't be necessary, Caboose. Hey Gary how ya doin'?"

"**Not bad**," Said the same emotionless mechanical voice from Deanis's head coming from the computer, text of its words appeared on the screen, "**although my static ion sub-matrix is a little itchy.**"

"The computer can talk?" asked Simmons.

"The computer's name is Gary?" asked Grif.

"**How have you been, Church?**" the computer, Gary/Gamma asked.

"Good, thanks for asking," Church leaned into the bars, "Listen, would you do me a favor? Could you shut off the bomb please."

"**No problem**."

There was a click, and the bomb stopped at 0:01. How cliché.

"Gahr!" Sarge roared, "You mean to tell me you could have turned off the bomb this whole time, and you didn't say so! And don't say I didn't-"

"**You didn't ask**," Gamma/Gary said. Sarge started cussing under his breath.

"Man, it is really great to see you guys," Church said, sounding genially relieved. Deanis stiffly walked over to the caged entrance, Caboose and Tucker already there.

"You seem like you're in a good mood," Tucker said.

"I learned a very valuable lesson in my travels, Tucker. No matter how bad things might seem-"Church was cut off by Caboose.

"They could be worse."

"Nope," Surprisingly, Church didn't burst into a fit of rage, "no matter how bad they seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it Nancy. Quit yer bitching."

"Where have you been?" Caboose asked.

"You want the long version or the short version?"

"Oh I wanna hear the long version," Tucker said. Deanis remained silent, she wasn't told to go away or to piss off. Church acknowledged her presence, but didn't shun her because she's red or anything. Exactly what happened to him after the explosion?

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**How Are You Gentlemen? - **Guess.

**Goodbye.**

**Read, Review, Whatever**

**Chapter 7 - How Are You Gentlemen?**


	8. Chapter 8: Just a Jump to the Left

**Author's Note.**

**We're stepping back now, and switching Third-Person's person. Welcome back, Church. Be prepared for some wonderful memories that came from the previous two books.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 – Just a Jump to the Left<strong>

"**Teleporter complete**," the computer stated in its monotone mechanical voice, "**Slightly behind schedule**."

"You know," Church said, leaning against the nearest wall, "it might have gone a bit faster if you hadn't spent so much processor time telling knock-knock jokes."

"**Knock knock**."

"Enough," Church said irritated, pushing off the wall, "Do you have the coordinates to send me to Blood Gulch or not?"  
>"<strong>Yes<strong>," the computer said, "**Do you have a plan yet**?"

"I've been standing in this hallway thinking for a thousand years," Church said, leaning on one foot, "I've had time."

"**And**?"

"Well, the main thing I need to do, is keep myself from dying," Church explained.

"**That's a given**."

"And since all our problems stem from O'Malley jumpin' from Tex to Deanis to Caboose, all I need to do is prevent her from dying too." He wasn't quite sure about that part though, since the AI had jumped to Deanis on its own accord.

"**Because you secretly love her**."

"Oh don't start that again," Church said loudly. In the past thousand years, he had talked to the computer, practically told it everything. About Tex and everyone. Even his suspicions about the red chick Deanis and how her mental image of him seemed to know more than the real him does. He might get some answers the second time around. Maybe. "All I need to do is kill that pink guy that sticks the grenade on her."

"**Sounds easy**."

"Well, I have knowledge of everything that takes place beforehand," Church said, "so, as long as I don't interfere too much, or get spotted, should be a frigging breeze." He briefly wondered just how difficult it might be before suppressing his doubt.

"**Ready to transport**," the computer said.

"Okay, let's do it," Church said, "Goodbye... computer. Compu- you know what, you'd think I would have come up with a name for you in these thousand years."

"**It's Gary**," the computer said, "**but thanks for asking. See you in a few hundred years.**"

Immediately, all of Church's molecules dispersed. It wasn't like the teleporter, where the atoms are picked off one at a time, it was like everything spread out, a strange kind of liquid air feeling to it. His atoms came together in a single place, a most familiar place.

The eternal sun beat down on the nearby base, heat seemed to wave from the roof's surface. Dust was kicked up by small breezes, the sky was clear, and the air was dry. Church was once again in Blood Gulch.

"Ahhh," Church took a deep breath of dry air through his helmet, "it's good to be back here. It's been a long t- Ah who'm I kidding, even a thousand years doesn't make this dirt hole any more appealing." He looked around, realizing where he exactly was, "Oh what the hell, he stuck me at Red Base." He noticed the pair of legs, only half finished. "It must be way before Tex shows up, the robot isn't even done yet. Hurry up and get finished buddy, I'm gonna need that body pretty soon."

Church spotted two things on the ground nearby a Red Army tool box. They were switches, one bigger than the other. He smiled under his helmet, and kicked dirt on the smaller on.

"You just got an upgrade pal," Church told the unfinished legs. He started off to blue base. When he spotted a blue soldier near the outlet of Blue team's teleporter, he half mistaken him for Caboose. However, the voice and the stance was different, not to mention the guy was taller than Caboose. Church went the long way, avoiding the past Tucker.

The yelling was about the teleporter, when Church and Tucker had decided to test it and see if it would work.

An aqua clad soldier came out of the base, the air about him seemed confident and friendly. Sure as hell wasn't Tucker.

"Holy crap," Church said aloud from behind what would soon become Tucker's rock, "Captain Flowers is still alive. Oh man, I might be able to fix everything at once."

He might be able to if he could stop his before-dead Captain Flowers. Church had mixed feelings about the Captain, nice enough guy though. Hell of a lot better than Sarge from what Church knew. He watched as the past blue team went into Blue Base. He waited a moment before sprinting inside.

Church carefully avoided certain areas, lest he'd make a paradox by meeting himself or some movie shit like that. Church knew that Flowers often slept standing up in the main room. He ran in.

"Captain Flowers!" Church said, running in. The CO nearly jumped five feet in the air.

"God, don't sneak up on me like that," Flowers said, "can't you see I'm sleeping?"

"Sorry Sir, look," Church said, "I know you probably don't remember me that well."

"Course I remember you Church," the Captain said, "I just saw you two minutes ago."

"Oh right. Yeah, it's uh, it's been longer for me," Church didn't really have the patience to explain everything. He got a chill when the memory of Flowers's dead body flashed in his mind, "Anyway, there's no nice way to put this, but you're gonna die of a massive heart attack tonight." At least, Church thought it had been a heart attack, but that didn't explain all the blood.

"That doesn't sound like me," Flowers said, tapping his helmet's mouth, "I'm a team player."

"And I can't tell you how I know this, but I need you to take this injection," Church produced a military syringe from his combat belt, a little something he had light fingered from Doc, "so that you can live, and together we can beat the Reds. That way a lot of really weird, and totally inexplicable stuff won't happen."

"I don't understand anything you just said, and I've only known you for a short time," Flowers said, "But go ahead and inject me, Private Church."

Flowers took his wrist and opened a strange kind of covering. It revealed an area specifically for injection. Church didn't know the suits had that. Cool. Church stepped forward, and inputted the syringe. He pressed it, watching whatever medical liquid inside drain into his CO's bloodstream. Church removed it and returned the empty injector into a pouch of his belt.

"Thank you son," Flowers said kindly, "Feeling much bett-" The CO leaned forward, "...better. ...Agh."

_Uh oh._

"What," Church asked," What's the matter?"

"That medication," Flowers breathed, "it didn't have... ungh... Aspirin in it, did it? I'm allergic to... Aspirin."

"Umm…" Church didn't even know what kind of medication it was. Good intentions just went sour.

"Can't feel haunches... Spleen failing... Glutes, gluttonizing..." Flowers landed on his kneels, weakly trying to pull off his helmet. "Church. Before I die, I have to tell you something incredibly important." The helmet fell to the floor, revealing an older man with his hair tied in a poiny tail, "It may hold the key to our victory here."

"What, what is it?"

"Hurkh..." Flowers's Adam's apple bobbed up.

"Aw, crap," Church watched.

"Blah…" the captain threw up blood. The red covered the floor and splattered on Flowers's chest plating and Church's boots. The man fell into the blood puddle, eye rolled up in his head. Dead as a door nail. Church felt some sort of humming in his ears, possibly a robot version of blood pumping or something. He had just caused the death of his own team's leader.

"No Tucker, you can't hold my sniper rifle until tomorrow," another voice said, coming closer. Church didn't waste anytime, he ran out of the room, taking the back doorway in his escape.

"Well that didn't work out so well," Church said, when he was far enough from the base, "I better lay low before I do some more damage."

Yeah, more damage. Like killing his CO. The funny thing was, he didn't feel anything from it. For some reason, he just couldn't sum up sorrow or guilt or really anything. Maybe it was a conflict of emotions or he went full circle, shit he didn't have any idea.

Church ran into the nearby caves, it was about the only place he could think off that nobody would bother.

He had remained in the caves for a few weeks, almost amazed at the fact that his robot body could survive without food or drink.

"Man this sucks," Church said to himself, "It's still days until Tex shows up, I still haven't seen any sign of that pink guy yet." He had been talking to himself for the recent days, not sure if that was a good sign or a bad. He can't exactly go long without some kind of conversation or something.

"Hi!" The sudden voice nearly startled Church. He turned to find a guy taller than him by half a head and in red armor. Actually seeing height, Church already knew that it wasn't Sarge or Deanis.

"Uhmm..." Church said, "Hello."

"Do you have any elbow grease?" the guy said, his voice vaguely familiar.

"What're you talking about?"

"How about headlight fluid?" the red said, "This is the store, right?"

"What? Look man," Church said, using gestures with his hands, "there's only two places in this God damn canyon."

"Look I just came from Red Base."

"Well, then the only other place you can go is," Church pointed to the opposing direction from red base, "that way."

"Okay, thanks mister!" the red guy turned and started off.

"Hey, wait a second," Church said, stopping him, "Is that pink guy over at Red Base yet?"

"Pink guy?" the Red said, turning his head, "I don't know any pink guys. There's a maroon guy, another red guy, and an orange guy, but no pink guys. Seeya later." The red took off, leaving Church alone in the cave.

"Yeah thanks. What an idiot," Church shook his head. Then something popped into his mind, "...Wait a minute. Aw crap."

Church ran after the red guy. Such an idiot, he had just directed him to blue base. He caught the red out in Blue Territory, Church stuck to the shadows.

"Hey, buddy," Church strained a whisper, "no no no, don't go down there!" Fuck. Church watched the events transpire, how his past self had sent the red inside the base, how only moments after the red left the base with Blue army's flag, and Caboose coming out to let past Church and Tucker that the so called "General" had picked up the flag. Past Church and Tucker ran into the base not long afterward. Fuck. Wait. Church spotted the tank.

"There's Sheila," He said, like he was talking to someone else, "Sheila!" Church ran up to the tank, "Sheila, Sheila, hey, wake up! Wake up, hey, Sheila, come on, turn on! Uhh... Ignition!"

"Okay, Rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!" Church heard his past self yell. Aw shit shit shit!

"Aw crap crap, come on," Church moved to the back of the tank, hiding from sight, "activate!"

"Thank you, for activating, the M808B Main Battle Tank. You may call me F.I.L.I.S.S.," Shelia activated but the tank did not start up.

"Hey, Sh- wait, Phyllis?" Church was confused, "Why not Sheila?"

"Name overwritten," Shelia said, "You may now call me Sheila."

"Whatever," Church said quickly, "Quickly. I need you to run through all your weapons system programs."

"Affirmative," Shelia's smooth, feminine voice said, "Auto-lock is enabled. Barrel recoil dampers, are enabled."

"Yeah, common common, hurry."

"Extra ammo management is disabled. The "Friendly Fire" protocol is enabled."

"Friendly Fire," Church said, "That's the one that kills teammates, right?"

"Affirmative."

"Alright," Church said, he could stop his death now, "Disable, the "Friendly Fire" protocol."

"Friendly Fire protocol is now disabled. Friendly forces may now be targeted by Auto-lock," Shelia said routinely.

"Yes! Wait! No! That doesn't sound right." The tank started up, Church didn't realize that it was Caboose inside the tank. "I want the other thing."

"Hello, and thank you for activating the M808B Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila," Shelia repeated, Church's head tilted, "Would you like me to run the tutorial program?"

"Sheila, what're you talking about?" Church said, "Forget what I just said."

"This tutorial program, is intended to instruct non-certified personnel. Let's begin with some driving." Shelia drove away, much to Church's chagrin.

"Wait! Oh my God, no!" Panic gripped him. Damn it! This wasn't supposed to happen. Church ran after the tank, trying like hell to stop the tank. It wasn't long before he found it useless to do anything, and he stood panting and watching events transpire. The tank attacking the reds, near destroying the jeep. He watched as a clad Orange, Maroon and Red run behind a rock. To avoid getting blown up again, Church ran into the nearby shadows and bushes.

"Target locked."

"What? Oh, son of a bi-"

"Oh NO!" Church grabbed his head, "I'm the team killing fucktard!"

"You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!" Past Tucker yelled. The tank turned around, and spotted something. It was in the open and it was red. Shit is that Deanis? Church didn't really know what would happen if someone like Deanis or one of the reds died to the tank today.

"Deanis what the fuck are you doing?" Church screamed across the canyon. He was in time to see a hand grab the red private and back behind the rock. One of the tank's missiles hit the rock and Church stopped breathing for a few seconds. Three red soldiers ran from the smoking rock, back to base. The tank followed, and Tucker was moving on the cliff to follow the tank.

His past body was lying on the cliff, burnt, smoking and mutilated. He shook his head and the sight, and snatched up the sniper rifle and the pistol from the body. Its not like his past self would need it now.

"Now at least I can pick off that pink guy without getting too close to anybody," Church said, semi-confidently. He scooped the sniper, and watched the tank as it damaged red base. The team on the roof was flat on the ground, covering their heads, the severely damaged jeep was smoking nearby a familiar red soldier.

He watched as a Pelican swooped down, and bombed the tank and that area of the canyon. Church backed up, slamming into the cliff side and feeling the effects of the bombing.

"What happened?" someone said, catching Church's surprise, "I can see my body. I see two of my bodies. Am I dead?"

Church's head turned and found himself. The past Church was in ghost form, helmetless and looking surprised.

"Uhh... Uh-oh, um," Church said to his past self, "let's just put it this way: You were killed because someone very close to you is an idiot." _Yeah, Me._

"So I am dead? Aw, that blows man!" Past Church then looked into the distance, seeing something beyond the canyon, "Wait... I see a light. Should I go in to it?"

"What light?" Church said, looking into the direction his past self was looking to, "I don't see a light, you must be shaken up from the explosion. You should probably rest."

"Farewell my body," Past Church said dreamily, "I shake loose these earthy bonds, for a better existence..." And he faded away.

Church looked at where his past self's ghost had been. He didn't quite remember if he ever did met himself, it has been a thousand years after all.

"Man... First I kill myself, then I realize I'm a honkin' dork," Church said to himself, "Not a very good day to be me."

"One second Caboose, I wanna get Church's sniper rifle."

Tucker's voice alerted Church.

"Uh oh," the clad Cobalt hid behind a nearby rock, balancing himself with the cliff and staying out of sight.

"Aw crap, it's gone. Man I'm so fucking unlucky. Come on Caboose, let's go call Command."

"Um... Shouldn't we bury Church?"

"Fuck that, has he ever buried us?"

_Note to self, kill Tucker the next time I see him._

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Time Warp - **Its just a jump to the left.

**The next two chapters will be about Church and his travels through time. Stay tuned.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 8 - Just a Jump to the Left.**


	9. Chapter 9: Then a Step to the Right

**Author's Note.**

**Vir here, and the play by play is awesome. Of coarse if you like Church failing several hundred times threw out the game.**

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9 – Then A Step to the Right<strong>

Church stood behind a rock nearby red base. It had been last cycle since his past self had died to the tank, and he was hell bent on trying to at least prevent Tex's death. Killing that pink guy, Donut, seemed to be the only option.

"Man, I've really gotta find that pink guy," Church said to himself, "Where the hell is he?"

Something passed in front of him. It looked wave and transparent. He dropped the sniper and looked. There didn't seem to be anything. Then he spotted it, a kind of wavy invisible thing near the Red base. It threw something blue and pulsing. A plasma grenade. It stuck to one of the red guy's heads, the tallest one.

There was only a few moments, and it exploded. Getting exclamations from the remaining reds, the maroon one, Simmons, fell and there was a glimpse of something big, black and bulky. Tex. Grif started fighting at nothing, and the third, Deanis, disappeared into the roof.

Tex finished off Grif, jumped off the base's edge, and ran inside. Sarge followed not long after.

"Aw, shit! Tex! Don't go in there!" Church said, "Awgh, I gotta do somethin'."

He ran closer to the base, but something came out, wobbly. A short Red clad soldier. Deanis.

She looked right at him, and Church froze. Shit, what was going to do now?

"Uh, hey Deanis," Church said awkwardly, "You alright?"

"Oh it's God, hello god," Deanis said, groggy like she had been drunk or something. God?

"Huh? Umm, I think you need to lie down," Church said cautiously.

"Yes sir, I'll get right on that, yes 'am, ayyyyy," Deanis fell forward, Church caught her. The red was out cold in his arms. Now what? He couldn't just drag the soldier around with him. He carefully laid the soldier down. Deanis seemed pretty fragile compared to Church. He guessed that was expected, sorta.

"Oh god my head…" someone said from the base's top, Church looked up. A maroon soldier was standing and holding his head. He turned around.

"Oh shit!" Church said and sprinted inside, leaving Deanis unconscious outside.

Church hid inside, dodging in and out of rooms and doorways. Surprisingly, red base was similarly designed just like Blue base. He wasn't sure how long he did this. He was in the barracks hallway when he saw someone coming down. It was Simmons, carrying Deanis on his back. The maroon clad went into a room. Church followed silently.

Inside was pretty plain, only a cot and an armor stand. Simmons placed Deanis gently on the cot, and sat on the edge looking at the armor. Church spied through the doorway. He watched as the red private stirred.

"Thank god, I'd thought you'd never wake up," Simmons said.

"My head feels like shit," Deanis said, sitting up, "What happened? All I remember was Donut's head exploded, and you fainted."

""I did not faint! Why does everyone think that?" Simmons exclaimed.

"Head ache, Simmons, keep it down."

"Sorry."

"What about Grif and Sarge?"

"Well, when I came, Grif was already out and Sarge captured that special ops guy." Tex? Where? "And umm, well I found you outside of the base." Oh crap.

"Outside of the base? I was inside the last time I checked," Deanis said.

"Well umm…"

"Never mind, what about Donut? KIA?"

"No actually," Simmons said, "He's already airlifted and should be back in a couple of days."

"That's cool, I guess," Deanis said, "Where's the guy that knocked the shit out of us?"

"Grif is guarding her," Simmons said. Deanis started to get up.

"Bring me to her."

"Whoa, I don't think you need to get-"

"I'm Fine, Take. Me. To. The. Prisoner."

"Okay, okay…"

Simmons got up from the cot, Deanis following. Church ran from the doorway and ducked into the neighboring room. The two soldier passed by without a sight or word of him. After a few minutes, Church carefully followed the two.

He hid in the hallway outside of the meeting room, carefully watching those inside. He didn't really pay much attention to the conversations, he was watching more of Tex and every now and then looking at Deanis. The red clad seemed to tense around Tex for some reason. Sarge called Grif up and the Orange Clad walked out of the room.

Church watched as Simmons looked at Deanis several times just to turn away. _Just look at her for fuck's sake_, Church thought. Something walked into the room, another Clad Red with the sergeant's emblem.

"Hey man," the Fake Sarge said, "What's up yo?"

"Uh... hey...," Simmons said, "what's going on out there sir?"

"What's uh, why, nothin'," 'Sarge' said, "Why would you ask if something's wrong?"

"That's a normal question during war time," Deanis said, leaning her helmet forward to take a good look of Sarge, "If you don't mind me asking SIR" she emphasized the word, "Aren't you supposed to be on base, with Grif, looking for those Special Ops?"

Church wasn't quite sure what had set Deanis to know that it wasn't Sarge. Fucking psychic or something.

""I uh, needed to check somthin'," the imposter Sarge said, "You're starting to act kinda suspicious there ...other red guy. So I'm keeping my eye on you."

Deanis pulled out her M6D, aiming it at the false Sarge's head.

"Deanis what are you doing?" Simmons asked freaking out.

"That isn't Sarge," She answered, defiantly, "Sarge has never forgotten my name. He doesn't say Yo, and he sure as hell doesn't sound like a bad impression of a southern car salesman."

"Hey, easy, umm lets just calm down-"the Fake Sarge said.

"Let's not," Deanis said, pushing off the wall she had been leaning on.

"Deanis," Simmons said urgently, "You can't just assume-"

"I'm not assuming anything," Deanis said and focused on 'Sarge', "On the count of three, I'm knocking you out."

"Deanis-"

"One."

Simmons got closer.

"Two."

"Sarge" cocked his shotgun.

"Three!"

Church watched wide eyed as Deanis spun around and hit Simmons with the butt of her pistol. It had surprised him then, and it surprised him now. He still wasn't sure why she had done that or for what reason she would have.

"What the hell are you doing!" Tex exclaimed.

"So," Deanis said and turned to the imposter Sarge, "Exactly what do you want? After knocking Simmons out, I'm pretty sure I'm entitled to know everything."

Church watched the scene of himself revealing himself to the red and Tex. Why he had done that? Deanis was a red, it was a bad idea to show anything to the enemy. Church kept thinking back to that moment. Maybe it was because he trusted her? Why would he do that? Just something about Deanis was soothing or familiar, but why he wasn't sure.

He watched as the three left the room, Deanis escorting the two. Church walked into the room. Deanis had good intentions, he guessed.

"What happened?" Simmons said, getting up, "Oh man, the back of my head is killing me!"

"Yeah, that's great," Church punched Simmons in the visor, causing the soldier to fall back down.

"Ow, geez, the front of my face!"

Something clicked in Church's head- oh shit! Church ran to where they had exited, and saw Caboose in black armor and with the sniper shoot down Sarge. Tex ran, and Deanis kneeled to her CO. He saw his past self appear above Sarge's fallen body.

"Jesus FUCKING CHRIST!" Deanis yelled.

"Hey umm, red guy. What's going on?" Church's past self was fading.

""Fuck, Sarge probably dead and his armor is shutting down," Deanis said, "Get out of there!"

"I can't! Its like he's-"

And Church's past self was gone. Church didn't understand why armor had anything to do with ghosts, but he couldn't think of it now. He watched Deanis do anything in her power to keep Sarge from going down. Feeling empty, Church faded back into the base.

He walked down to the barracks hall. He wasn't sure why he turned into Deanis's room, just seemed to do it subconsciously or something. Her room was so bland, so naked. There weren't any pictures, no memoirs, nothing special. There was the armor stand and the cot. Church went and sat on the cot, looking into the floor. He felt clear headed here.

Church wasn't sure how long he was there before he got up and left the room and into the hallway. Something was walking down, and he dodged into the nearest room that wasn't Deanis's. Speak of the devil, the red clad was walking down and turned to her own room. Church waited, and heard the fleshy slap of naked feet.

He turned around the doorway, and saw Deanis out of armor and in underwear. She wasn't as strong as she had seemed, and was pretty thin considering. Her skin pale from hours without sun, and her body barely glimpsing the shape of an hour glass. Church found himself comparing between Deanis and Tex.

But something defiantly caught his eye about her. From the bottom of her neck down to below the panty's waist line was a large scar. It was a scar, none the less, with marks of red and purple around whatever wound had once been there. Church got shivers just looking at it, the deformed and overly tender skin. No one would ever be able to tell that Deanis had such a mark by just looking at her. She walked, and ran, and well everything without the lest bit of trouble that scar must produce.

Deanis turned into a room at the end of the hall. Church disappeared into the empty room he had found. He leaned against the wall, and slid to the floor. He knew that Omega would come for Deanis for whatever reason.

He sat there, for hours by his helmet's clock, just thinking and rethinking about Deanis's scar. It bothered him, made him feel guilty though his killing of his own captain didn't. He couldn't help but feel like its his fault that she has the scar, but why he didn't know.

_Is your name Leonard Church?_

_What? How do you-_

Church remembered when the Red had first asked that, and he suddenly got the feeling that she may have known his name from somewhere else other than the radio.

_Even if I told you every significant detail. You'd never believe me._

_Deanis is a chick, I don't see how the fuck you people miss that, especially you._

_You knew her before you got sent to some backwater place in the middle of nowhere._

…

_And how the fuck did I know 'her'?_

_I guess I can't tell you that yet._

_Why not?_

_Issues._

Church didn't know nor cared anymore, he got up and walked out of the room. He had the intention to leave the base when a conversation stopped him in his tracks.

"How'd it happen?" a familiar voice said.

"I got hit," Deanis's voice said, "In the back with a Covenant plasma cannon several times. Was in rehab for months after that. They went as far as to put in artificial tissues and even replace some of my spine and nervous system. High risk and all that shit, all because I was-"

She stopped herself. Church didn't know why she did. A trumpet suddenly sounded, nearly making Church jumped out of his skin.

"Morning already?"

Church heard Deanis sigh. He heard the sounds of naked footfalls, and nearly panicked.

"Umm Deanis wait a minute!"

Thank God. Church ran forward and hid in the last room of the hall. The room was a locker room, with red tiles and lockers. Church felt out of place but he sure as hell wasn't about to go back into the hallway. He heard foot falls.

Church yanked one of the large lockers open, went inside, and shut the door. His armor fit awkwardly within the thin space, and it was lucky that nothing was in this locker. Through the slanted small openings, Church saw several people pass by. He guessed he'll camp here for right now.

Church finally left the locker once he knew that everyone had showered and gone. He left the room, down the hall and to the main floor of the base. No one here, good. Church walked outside, just to hear something.

"Alright that's enough," it was Sarge's voice, "Now then, Pretty-in-pink here will be doing patrols for today, the rest of you are doing watch. I need to get on the haul of command."

Pretty in pink, the pink guy! Church smiled under his helmet, he'd be able to fix everything now. Making a made dash to a nearby rock, he hid. Near the rock, was the sniper rifle. Caboose had dropped it after shooting the possessed Sarge. Church couldn't believe his good fortune, and he snatched up the rifle.

"Awesome," He said, making sure the sniper had its rounds and such. He looked into red territory, and just in time found the pink guy, Donut, walk down the ramp. Just too easy. He aimed and fired.

The bullet missed the back of Donut's head by mere inches. Church shrugged it off, no biggy. He fired again, missing Donut. Again, miss. Again, miss. The Fuck? Church reloaded. The pink guy hadn't even noticed that he was being shot at. A cold feeling came over Church. He looked at the top of red base.

Deanis seemed frozen to the spot. Church looked through his sniper at the clad Red. Her helmet was shaking slightly, and Church immediately knew. Damn it! O'Malley! The AI had already jumped, and that means Tex isn't far behind. But first, how was he going to get the AI out of Deanis's head?

He made a dumb move. Church brought up his radio and called the Red clad. He didn't say anything, but the Red visible started down like she had just ran a marathon. That gave Church some relief, but a sudden beeping started from his radio. Uh Oh. Church shut it off just in time. Maybe that'll keep O'Malley busy.

"Firing main cannon."

An explosion hit the Red base, and Church knew the timer was running. He ran from his cover, looking desperately for Donut. A jeep nearly ran him over in the attempt, and Church backed into the wall of the Red base. Sarge was driving the Red team Jeep, stopping it near a ramp. Deanis and Simmons got on to it.

Deanis was shaking slightly, was exhausted. Church didn't think Deanis could resist the AI, guess she could at a price. As the jeep sped away, the Blue team tank was coming closer. It fired at the wheels, causing the jeep to flip in the air and spring all its passengers out.

Deanis was on the ground, limp. Without restraint, Church found himself praying for her to be alright.

"Get up," Church strained, "Deanis! Come on!"

Simmons nearby Deanis pulled her up and forced her along back to Red base. Church didn't have time for anything as he sped away. The team came into the ramp, and up the other one came Donut. Church aimed and fired four times, neither of them hitting the clad pink.

"Oh my God, how did I miss?"

He reloaded and fired again, nothing hit the soldier.

"GOD DAMMIT!"

"**_Hey Bitch! Remember me! I saved something for ya!_**" Donut yelled into the canyon, producing a grenade from his belt and throwing it. Church tried in vain to hit it with sniper shots.

"FUCK, THIS, HORSE, SHIT!"

"_**Aw crap!**_"

"_**Hell yeah! Three points, you dirty whore!**_" The sentence echoed and the tank exploded as planed.

"Alright that's it," Church said, "I quit. I'm going to live in a cave."

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Time Warp - **And then a step to the right

**Alot of coverage on book 1 right here, and next chapters will have book 2. So, basically none of this will make any sense unless you've read the previous books. There's something to think about.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 9 - Then a Step to the Right**


	10. Chapter 10: Pull Your Knees in Tight

**Author's Note.**

**Aren't you excited yet? I'm already done writing book number Four and am now going for five! Yay!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 – Pull Your Knees in Tight<strong>

For Three months, Church hid out in the caves. Sometimes, he explored the tunnels, never getting hunger or thirsty or tired, but noticing that he seemed to get slower with each sleep and wake cycle. He was pretty sure that his robot body needed some kind of energy or power source to run on, but his neglectance was causing problems. He found that he couldn't run very far, nor could he go on as long.

Because of this, he wouldn't be able to sneak into any of the bases successfully. He was stuck with his problem.

In his inabilities, he often just sat out and watched the canyon, preserving some energy for the events soon to come. Most days, he was looking at Red base from the cave entrance. It grew boring due to all the talking and everything, but its not like he could do much about that.

Church found small interest in watching Deanis. The Red clad did the same things as the others, talk or patrol, left when the wake cycle was over. Over time, Church was comparing her to Tex more and more often. Deanis's distant outbursts, like Tex's, Deanis's aiming, like Tex's, how efficient Deanis was when drills were place, like Tex's. Soon, Deanis was like another Allison to Church. A precious something he had to wait for.

When Deanis wasn't around, Church thought of ways to try and prevent coming events. That was a given, like Gary had said. Though it was probably going to be difficult, and he didn't have as much confidence as he had the first time around.

Three months passed slowly, finally as the days were arriving. Church was in a certain part of the tunnels, a small area he had made for himself. Often, he looked into the ceiling of the cave, just thinking about everything until it reached to the point of merely thinking the same thing again and again in endless cycle.

Church got up from a small little trench he had dug in his free time, brushed himself off and walked out of the area, the tunnels and the caves, a bit slowly but he did. The outside was bright, as always. He was near blue base, and he decided to review what he had been planning.

"Okay," He said calmly, "I may not have been able to save myself or Tex, but I still have time to save everybody else if I can just keep the A.I. from getting in to Doc, prevent Lopez and Sheila from forming their Robot Army, and somehow figure out a way to stop the war between the Reds and the Blues all together." He furrowed his brow, "Huh. What if I... Yeah I'm gonna need some help on this one."

Church waltz into blue base, the fastest that he was able to manage at the moment. He started in the halls, knowing them as well as he could.

"Where the hell is that contact info for Blue Command," he muttered, "We really need to standardize the way we handle our information."

He walked into the meeting room, where he found a list. It had a horribly misspelled title "Cabose's Importent Lists of Stuf" it said. Caboose had never really been the same since his incident with O'Malley, even getting his own name wrong. He hadn't exactly been so childish when he first arrived, but his problem merely got worse over time.

"Okay, here we go," Church found the contact information. He turned on his radio, going for Command's number, "Come in Blue Command, do you read me."

"-Hello, hello, come in, do you read me, do I read you, hello, can you read me, what's goin' on, it's a secure channel here, come on-" a familiar voice said in the static.

"Uh yeah, this is, uh," He can't just say that he's Church, "Flowers, this is Captain Butch Flowers."

"-Heyyy, Captain Flowers-" Vic said over the static, "-how're you doing dude? Hey I heard you died. Or you got promoted, wait a minute which one was it.-"

"Uhm... promoted."

"-Alright, great dude, how's that workin' out for you?-"

"Good. Listen up Vic," Church said, "I'm actually uh... whaddaya call it, um intelligence now, military intelligence, yeah. And I uh, I need help on a very top secret project, uh, that's very secret. And very top." Man, he was not good at making things up on the spot.

"-I'm all yours, dude. Me Vic dude es tu Vic dude. In a ditideepti and all that.-"

"Here's what I need you to do. I need you to contact the Red Army, and have them send Medical Officer DuFresne, as far away from here as possible."

"-Red Army, no no dude, last transmission I received that Medic was at Blue Base. Got it right here in my log. No pun intended. Not sure what that means.-"

Shit.

"Look it doesn't matter where he is, I just need him outta here. They're both the same to me."

"-Hello dude, you're telling me that Red and Blue are the same now in Blood Gulch.-"

"Right, exactly, the sides don't matter," Church was getting kinda irritated.

"-Heh, so Red and Blue are the same. Okay dude, well this changes everything.-"

"What?"

"-Well I mean from starters we're gonna have to figure how to divide up the money from the office pool.-"

"Okay okay yeah, whatever, just remember," Church said, "This is top secret, so you can't let anybody know that I gave you these instructions, okay? Or that we even spoke, don't even tell them that we talked together. You got it?"

"-I will proceed accordingly dude, mum is the word. Actually bird is the word but the bird says mum. So we're gonna go with that. Over and out dude.-"

Church clicked off the radio. He partly wondered what all that was about, but disregarded it. It didn't matter much anyway. Church walked to one of the entrances, but stopped in his tracks.

"What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Aw crap, the reds are here."

"What? Caboose, why didn't you say anything?"

Outside of the door, stood three reds and a purple one. Fuck.

"Oh what the hell?" Church said, "Vic just had 'em bring Doc back over here? That guy's a fricking moron. Now I'm back to square one!"

Church huffed, and went around to another exit. He'd have to find another thing to do for right now. He went outside, going back to the caves. One of his legs started waddling, and gave way. Church caught himself, landing on all fours.

"Shit," He muttered, "I don't have to crawl do I?"

Church pressed up, pushing himself from the ground. His legs strained a bit, but he was able to start walking again. He didn't feel hurt or exhausted, but he was pretty sure that his body was pouting out. It last for a thousand years with out food or anything, the energy reserves were going out now. When Church got to the foot of the cliffs, he sat at them.

He watched as Red team abandoned the medic in the middle of the canyon, and how Doc left for the caves on the opposing side to Church's tunnels. A lot of things transpired in the hours, Lopez running, the red attacking, Lopez taking Deanis's body from the resonating explosion. Church felt a small ping of jealousy, though why he should feel jealous of Lopez he didn't know.

It took even longer before the fixing of the tank happened. When the group, consisted of his past self, Tucker, Caboose and a captured Deanis, left the tank and Lopez alone for the base top, Church made his move. He got up from his position, and walked. He struggled to keep himself from slouching. He slide around the base and got to Lopez and Shelia.

"Hey there Lopez, Sheila, you're both looking... uh very shiny, today, uh, rust-free, and, anyway, uh-huhm," Church started awkwardly, "The reason I'm up here to talk to you guys is, I know we've had our differences in the past, you know with uh, the nut turning and the um possessing and stuff like that," I need to get to the point, "ah but I'm hoping we could put that behind us 'cause I wanna talk to you about maybe some crazy ideas you might be havin up here?

"Like I dunno, say uh, starting your own robot army? And you know it's, it's something you should think about pretty seriously if you're thinking about doing it, um because it's hard to run an army, and you might not be aware that, it's a lotta, it's a lot of logistics, a lot of rhetoric, um, you know it's uh, you gotta have chain of command, and that stuff you know, it's-it's uh when you have ranks it, it puts friends against each other, that's not always a good thing.

" 'Cause it might seem like it's easy with only three people, even when those people are just robots- I don't mean, I don't mean just robots, I mean, three, you have, you-you have three you have three people, that are, mechanized people, mechanized, Americans um," Finish this, its getting too quiet, "and then, you know, it's uh, it's uh, anyway you shouldn't do it. Bye."

Church left quickly, knowing full well just how much of an ass he had made of himself. He hastened his walk, forcing to bear down on his legs to continue moving. Now, he'll wait to mess with the Blue's teleporter.

Church went into the nearby brush, and waited. He watched the familiar events took place, from Lopez's possession by Tex, the explanations, the plans, and finally the entrance of his past self and Tex into Caboose. He watched as Shelia, Lopez, Deanis and Tucker left. He chuckled when Shelia had called Deanis Lopez's mother.

With Caboose not seeing anything of the real world, Church easily walked past him and to the base. He was going up the ramp, when another of his legs gave way again. He felt flat against the slanted ground, and his armor skidded down the ramp and back to the dirt.

"Fuck…" Church grumbled, pushing himself up. He used the base walls as support as he walked up to the roof. He climbed up, finally reaching the top. He stumbled in reaching the portal, using its doorway as a pedestal until he could kneel without falling over.

Church opened a nearby panel, and start messing around with the wires and controls. If the portal doesn't work, then O'Malley can't use it. Church pulled wires, ripping out a few of them, and messing with a few screws. The electrical shocks didn't seem to affect him. When he figured he was done, he put the panel back on.

He got up, using the portal's doorway as support once again. He looked out into the canyon. Across it, the tank was rammed into Red base. His brow furrowed, he hoped that Deanis was okay or something.

Church was about to leave when the world became unfocused. _No, not now!_ Church held his head, feeling his legs and body lose against his will. The robot body was giving out, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He fell back into the teleporter he had just finished sabotaging.

His atoms were picked apart by what felt like thousands of needles, just to be put back together again. The pain was horrible.

He was pushed out of the teleporter export from the middle of the canyon, luckily. But the trauma was the final straw. Church was sprawled on the ground, unable to move as the body lost its final reserves of energy. He looked into the sky, just thinking about how unfair it was that he lost everything now. His thoughts took to Tex, how he wasn't able to save her, and how the thoughts of Tex morphed into thoughts of Deanis.

Before the darkness took him, Church started thinking about how he never did see Deanis smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Time Warp - **Yes.

**The episode(s) in this chapter have been horrifically mutilated to serve my purposes, and no Church isn't dead, he'll be back in the next chapter.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 10 - Pull Your Knees in Tight**


	11. Chapter 11: ITPTTDYI

**Author's note.**

**Neglectance is a horrible thing.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11 – It's the Pelvic Thrust that Drives You Insane<strong>

The first thing that was done was Church sucked in a breath of air. His eyes shot open and he sat up. He held his head, it felt heavy.

"Oh... What the hell happened? Where am I? When am I?" He asked himself, getting up. He noticed that he was faster, more energetic. Maybe just some sleep would've been enough, but he had the feeling that there's more than just sleeping needed. The big problem was, he wouldn't know when he needed it until its too late. He heard a conversation nearby.

"Uh, Church, it kinda looks more like a triangle from down here."

"What?"

"I'm just saying it doesn't look much like a circle, it looks more like we're forming a triangle, just a side-note."

"Okay fine, Triangle of Confusion, Rhombus of Terror, Parabola of Mystery, who cares! Get the god damn show on the road!"

"Alright, alright, sorry."

"Oh no," Church said, "The Parabola of Mystery! That means any second now Tucker's gonna get shot by O'Malley and then all hell's gonna break loose. Unless..." Church ran down somewhere away from the teleporter's export. If he could find something that'll stop O'Malley, then it would be done.

Yells and screaming came, and Church found something. Lying in a small little ditch, was a Rocket Launcher. He's pretty sure that Blue team didn't have any equipment like this.

"God I can't believe the Reds have this kind of hardware lying around and they're not even using it," Church said as he picked it up. It was slightly heavy against his armor, but he could point it clear enough. Sharp whining came close, and Church spotted the purple alien vehicle, Doc as the driver.

"Ah, there he is," Church said, smiling under his helmet, "Mine now buddy."

He fired, and the missile zipped past Doc, and hit Tucker square in the back. Church's eyes widened.

"WHAT THE HELL!" He yelled, throwing the launcher down, "The targeting system on this thing doesn't work at all! Oh, so maybe that's why the Reds don't use it. That makes sense now."

"Oh my God. It's the Cave Devil. Run for your lives!" Donut yelled.

"Unh, maybe I'll just sit this one out. I'm pretty sure I know how it ends," Church said, walking back a bit until he was at the foot of the cliffs again. He watched the entire battle. Deanis was fighting the most ruthlessly, from what he could tell. Then, just as Donut made an unintended distraction, Deanis was hit by the purple vehicle.

Church remembered getting very angry very quickly. He knew that the rage was uncalled for, knowing that Deanis would be fine in a little while, but just seeing her injured was the equivalent of seeing Tex blown up. Another comparison. No body hurt Church's women.

The chase was on after O'Malley, and then the "Ironic" stories that lasted for two hours straight, not to mention Simmons's preparing of Blue team's teleporter and the explanation of the plan. Church snuck to Blue base and waited crouched at the ramp. He felt a pang of regret about messing with the teleporter, now that everyone was going through it. Everything, had been his fault.

Church sighed, and went back down the ramp. He'd have to wait for the right moment to go into the teleporter. He went into the base, leaned against the nearest wall and sat. There simply wasn't anything to do but wait. Actually… Church put his hands behind his head. He didn't want to risk another robot body energy issue, so he closed his eyes and let whatever was considered sleep take him.

He woke up about several hours later, finding that he had fallen to the floor. Church got up and stretched, feeling the popping of his mechanical parts underneath his prosthetic skin. He walked out of the base, not feeling groggy or tired from just waking up.

He snuck back up the ramp, looking carefully at the group up there. Tucker was up, and judging by the black armored robot's stance, Tex was back. Tex kinda stood like Deanis in a way… What. Now Church was comparing Tex to Deanis. Just great.

"Good luck everyone, take care," Shelia said from below, "I packed you all lunches for the trip."

"Thanks Sheila, that was really nice of you," Tucker said.

"Not really," Donut said, "All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos full of brake fluid."

"Make sure to wash your exhaust pipes every day," Shelia said like a mother figure. Tex ran into the teleporter, then Donut.

"Bye Sheila," Tucker said, "we'll come back for you soon."

"I'll be waiting."

Tucker went through the teleporter. Church stood up and walked over to the edge of the base to look at Shelia.

"Church!" Shelia said surprised, "I thought you left with Grif. Back already?"

"I hate to tell you this Sheila," Church said, "but none of us are comin' back. Is there any way I can take you with me? Maybe transfer your program in to a disk or something like that?"

"No sorry, but I'm hardwired in to this equipment," the tank said sadly, "That's what happens when you're built by the lowest bidder."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Church said, remembering how his body had shut down on him, "There's just one more thing you can do for me before I say goodbye. It's the last thing I can do to hopefully set all this stuff right."

"What is it?"

Church whispered to Shelia, tell her a small little plan for the nearing future. Maybe, he'd be able to bring everyone back to Blood Gulch from where ever they would be when that Great Prophecy comes or something.

"You got it," Shelia said.

"Thanks Sheila," Church said, "And uh, sorry that I blamed you for killing me all this time."

"That's okay, I'm sorry I enjoyed blowing you up so much."

"Yeah I'm not sure it was necessary to tell me that. Anyway, I guess this is goodbye Sheila." Church took one last look at Blood Gulche, and then entered the teleporter. His atoms were picked apart once again and sent across the solar system. He lost the conception of up or down, left or right for a little while, before being put painfully back together again.

He found himself flung into a small freezing room. One look outside was all that was needed to confirm.

"Sidewinder," He said, "Place hasn't changed since the last time I was here."

He didn't particularly like the thought. This place brought bad memories. Shrugging off the horrible feelings, Church walked out into the freezing cold of the ice planet. There was something he had to check real quick, so he ran into a different direction where he knew the group would gather.

At the entrance to where his and Grif's cell was, Church stopped.

"Man, there is no way Grif can disarm that bomb," Church said to himself, "I better let him out of there and then go find Tex. She can shut it off."

Church pressed a button on the nearby console, and heard as the cell's door rose. Church sprinted back, going around in a certain way to avoid the group of Red team and Blue team. He hid on a nearby cliff, once again being the watchman, Tex wasn't there.

"Come in, Tex," Church said as he brought up the radio, "I need you to meet me in the middle of the canyon, right now. This is Church. Uh... I have money. Oh man, where is she?"

"Psst! Hey, hey buddy! Hey!" someone caught Church's attention and he looked to the source. A soldier in clad cobalt just like Church's stood by the cliff.

"Huh? Who're you?" Church asked.

"Huh? Oh, I'm you," the guy said, "I'm just a different version of you. Yeah see, I keep trying to fix the bomb, just like you're doing, except I don't do it right, and I get blasted back in time. Then I come back, and try to fix everything all over again. I just wanna let you know, when you get back, meet us at the top of the ramp."

"Us? Who's us? Back from where? What's goin' on?" Church asked, but the clad cobalt left before he could get any answers. Church didn't process anything so far. He didn't know what was going on.

"Ah, Fuck it," he said, and got up and ran to the group.

"**See you in a few hundred years**," the computer said, as Church was sent into Blood Gulche. Suddenly, another Church ran up to it.

"Computer, you've got to send me back!" Church said frantically.

"**To Blood Gulch**?" the computer said, "**You just left**."

"No no no, not to Blood Gulch, to Sidewinder!" Church said, "Man I totally screwed everything up!"

"**How**?"

"Well, I didn't keep the bomb from going off, so I just got blasted back here," Church explained. Out of nowhere, another Church popped next to first one.

"Yeah, me too," the second Church said.

"What the-"the first Church didn't finish.

"Let me just put it this way pal," the second Church said, as more Churchs appeared behind them, "Your next plan? Goes about as well as the first one does."

"**Uh oh**," Gary said.

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Time Warp - **Guess.

**Seems Church's gotta a crush on Deanis. That's actually pretty much planed anyway, and besides its not like Church can help himself anyway, that's some of the after-effects of being the Alpha. **

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 11 -**** It's the Pelvic Thrust that Drives You Insane**


	12. Chapter 12: Let's Do The Time Warp Again

**Author's note.**

**...  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

WarBound is a nonprofit fan book series. Halo, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, and Halo Wars are Products of Bungie and Microsoft. Blood Gulche Chronicles, Reconstruction and Season 9 are owned by Roaster Teeth. All Original Characters are owned by the Author and shall not be used without the Author's permission.

Any Flamers and of the such can go get Raped by Aliens.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12 – Let's Do The Time Warp Again!<strong>

At the top of a ramp on Sidewinder, a lot of Churchs stood talking to one another. To add to the count, another Church runs up the ramp, confused by what he saw.

"What the hell is all of this?" New Church asked. All the Churchs looked at him.

"Oh, here he is," Church 2 said, "Late again."

"Who are you guys?" New Church asked.

"We're you, dumbass!" Church 2 replied, "We just keep screwing up and getting blown back to the computer terminal. Then we teleport here to try again."

"I know that man, you told me last time," Another Church said.

"I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the new you!"

"Oh, right, sorry about that I'm still gettin' used to all this."

"Dumbass," Another another Church said.

"Hey, shut up."

"How did all you guys screw up?" New Church asked.

"Well, when Tucker points the rocket launcher at us," Church 2 said, "I tried to explain the situation to everybody, and oddly, Caboose was really the only person who understood it right away. Anyway, by the time I finished answering questions the bomb went off and I got sent back in time."

"Right, then I teleported back to Sidewinder," Said Church 3, "and thought, if I could shoot Wyoming before he shoots Tucker, then I can fix everything. But I shot Wyoming, then Tucker shot me with the rocket launcher, the bomb went off anyway, and I got sent back in time."

"And then I teleported back," Said Another Church, or Church 4, "and just decided to kill everybody that I could see."

"Why did you do that?" New Church asked.

"I dunno, seemed like fun. I think I went a little nuts there for a while."

"Well, what did you do?" New Church asked a Church who was yellow for some reason.

"Dude, don't ask. Trust me, it-it didn't work."

"So now," said a Church coming out of the crowd of Churchs, "we all come back here beforehand to discuss what we did, and see if we can collectively come up with a better plan beforehand."

"You said beforehand twice," Church 4 said.

"Oh. Well in that case, what I was thinking about doing was-" New Church was cut off by all the Churchs saying "That won't work."

"Hey I got it," New Church said, snapping his fingers, "who's the last Church?"

"Huh?" Church 4 said dumbly.

"Which one of you," New Church said, pointing at all of them, "is the latest version of me?"

"Um, I guess that would be me." All the Churchs turned to look who had spoken. The Church that had spoken up looked worn, his armor had scratches and burn marks, some spots seemed to have dried blood, "I've already tried all the stuff that all these other guys have done, even him," He motioned to Yellow Church, "so, I guess that makes me the latest version."

"Well that must mean you're the one that gets it right then," New Church said.

"What do you mean?" Latest Church said.

"Well, if you're the last Church," New Church explained, "you must be the one that fixes everything. Otherwise, there'd be a thousand other Churches here, still trying to get it right."

"I see."

"Wait, why am I explaining this to you? If you're the latest Church, then you've been me, explaining this to you already."

"Uh yeah, I know, I just didn't wanna steal my own thunder. I thought it was a pretty good idea."

"Thanks!" All the Churchs said in unison.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go do whatever it is that fixes all this, wish me luck guys." Latest Church turned and ran down where New Church had just come from. Latest Church looked about, and spotted another Church with a tied up Tex. Huh? Latest Church went up to the Church.

"No no not me me, the other me me, the one with the bomb," This Church said.

"What?" Tex asked, tied to a tree with a rope that looked like it could strangle an elephant.

"Oh right, I forgot," Latest Church said, getting to the Church and Tex, "I already set Tex free one of the other times. Oh sweet, then that means I'm the guy that interrupts me, and then confuses Tex."

"I'm totally confused," Tex said, looking between the two Churchs.

"Oh don't worry Tex," Latest Church said, "I'm just supposed to tell him that it's okay to set Tex free."

"It is?" Said the Church.

"Well, that's what I said to me when I was you, and it seemed to work out okay."

"Seriously," Tex said, "this is really confusing." This Church went up to Tex, untied the rope, and letting it fall to the ground.

"Okay, you're free Tex," The Church said, "Now to execute the second part of my plan. I'm gonna possess Lopez, and then use his lightning machine to defuse the bomb. Seeya!" He ran off.

"Good luck!" Latest Church yelled, and then said, "Yeah, that's totally not gonna work," He turned to Tex, "Tex, I recommend you get down there, and try to defuse the bomb that's in Church's stomach. I think you're about the only one here that can do it." Latest Church thought about something that probably needed to be said just in case, "And Tex? The one thing I didn't realize before was this. Maybe I'm the last Church not because I fix everything, but because I died and there's no way I can come back. And if that happens, I just wanna let you know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got you mixed up in all this stupid stuff. I'm sorry I wasn't a better guy than I should've been. I'm sorry for... well, for a lot of stuff."

Then Latest Church piped up, "...But, if we do survive this, then it's totally because of me, and you should build a fucking statue in my honor."

Tex ran off before she could hear anything else so stupid.

"I'm serious! Somethin' cool. Like me on a horse! No no no wait, a motorcycle!"

It wasn't long before Latest Church started to follow Tex. This time, he didn't think it mattered if anyone saw him. He spotted Deanis next to his past self, and he smiled half-heartedly. Hey, he and Tex were Exes. It'd probably be nice to start out fresh and with someone new. Even if she is on the other team. Latest Church ran up behind Caboose, who promptly turned.

"Church!"

"What can I tell you dipshit," He said, "For better or for worse, I'm back."

The bomb exploded, and everything was consumed by a white light.

Latest Church appeared in front of some strange cage like entrance, and saw the soldiers panicking inside. He saw Deanis, looking calm and still among her and his teammates.

Latest Church, or just Church, smiled. It felt good to be back.

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Confirmed Crushy-mushy. You'll find next Chapter.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 12 - Let's Do The Time Warp Again!**


	13. Chapter 13: Every Nook and Cranny

**Author's Note.**

**Make-Up Chapters, and they'll basically complete the book. Sorry about the sudden lack of interest, I need to get my ass in gear here.**

**PS, Sexual things here but no sex. You can guess. I didn't even know AIs could get boners!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 13 – Every Nook and Cranny<strong>

The explanation was pretty short and sweet considering it was the long version. Deanis listened, even if she spotted Church throwing glances at her. It was one of those times where it sucked not to see people's faces under the helmet. The day was hard, and hardly any had really slept, except Donut, for the past one or two days. Everything would be pushed to next cycle.

The teams split into different parts of the building, avoiding one another. Red team got the half farthest away from the door. There were grumbles and silent cursing about who'd sleep where exactly, but otherwise there wasn't anything major. Grif fell asleep first, as expected, his snores were loud.

Sarge was pretty much second, sitting up against the wall with the shotgun leaning on his shoulder. Simmons not long after, followed by Donut who snuggled close to Deanis. Deanis was last, sleep crept up on her slowly.

She remembered dreaming about a large, shadow creature wielding a glowing sword. Nearby it, was a soldier in clad Blue, running towards the creature with a M6D. Deanis tried to open her mouth, warn the soldier, but no sound came. Someone woke her up before the dream finished.

"Hey," a familiar voice said, "Wake up."

For a moment, she didn't remember were she was. She sat up, blinking several times before finally remembering where she was at, she looked at her would-be waker. Even if it was a nightmare, she didn't like being woken up while sleeping.

Crouching by her, was a known soldier in clad Cobalt. The armor's once voluminous shine was muddied by fade and dust. Small specks of blood and burn marks stained the alloy. The static aura that signified AIs was mellowed. In all honesty, Church looked like hell had plowed right over him.

"What do you want Blue?" Deanis said, stretching her neck side to side, feeling relieved by its popping. Church continued to look at her.

"I need you run some tests on my body."

If he only knew how wrong that sentence sounded, and what kind of implications that can be taken.

"Excuse me?"

"My body," Church repeated, "I like some kind of diagnostics or something shit like that, and I ain't waking up Sarge."

That makes sense. She guessed. Deanis lifted her self from the floor, stretched her back and sighed. First sleep in hours, fucking ironic that it be interrupted.

"Alright, come on," Deanis said tired. She didn't know the building enough to know what would be a good place from any eyes, so she led him outside. Around the windmill, past the walls, and to the beach.

"This should be a good place," Deanis stated. The cloud cover hadn't broken in the past hours, and what sunlight there was still cracked through. The sun wouldn't be setting any time soon.

"What? Outside?" Church asked incredulous.

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yeah, how 'bout somewhere less breezy."

"Quit being a baby," Deanis said, "Now, take off your armor."

"Why don't you?" Church said, "I can leave my body."

"I'm sure you could. But if I screw up, I need you to let me know."

"Wait… How would you screw up?"

Deanis shrugged. Church didn't seem particularly happy about that answer. When nothing happened, Church seemed to resolve and started to take off his armor pieces at a time. Deanis occasionally checked around. Anyone could be watching or anything, and she didn't trust the Freelancer enough not to do something about her ex-boyfriend stripping in front of another girl.

Church was out of his armor in no time, in nothing but his underwear. While there was an excellent view of his perfect robot body, Deanis shivered. The skin was a sickly pale and had injuries that should've healed easily that hadn't. He didn't look good.

Considering that the body was new, Deanis wondered how in the world it had gotten so damaged. It looked worn, used to the point of breaking. She wasn't even sure she could diagnosis it, let alone fix what ever problems it must have. If the body was damaged, it would explain why Church's static wasn't as strong. If he didn't realize it, he was probably fighting to keep powered.

"What?" Church asked when Deanis did nothing. She shook her head and walked up to him.

"You might wanna sit down," she said, half heated, "This could be… more than I expected."

Church gained confusion in his face, his eyes trying to see through Deanis's visor for anything wrong. He sat in the sand and Deanis came to his back. She pressed an area at the back of the head, where the neck and skull would've connected. Church tensed, sucking in breath sharply.

"This might feel weird," Deanis warned. The area she pressed turned a grayish purple color, becoming transparent to the artificial tissues underneath the skin. She slid one gloved finger down the spin, and the skin and tissues opened to the mechanical back underneath.

"Agh…" Church grunted, he was shivering.

"Hang in there man," Deanis said, unscrewing and removing metal pieces to get to the things that really matter.

"What're you doing?" Church asked weakly.

"Trying to see what the deal is."

Underneath the protective metals, his insides were a mess. Deterioration, rust, the reversed power supply was flickering like a dying light bulb, main power supply was guttered with molded fluids. The air filtering system, in laymen's terms his lungs, seemed to be having trouble with the air input though Church acted like he was breathing just fine.

Deanis hesitated in going further. What had happened to make the robot like this? New parts were already old and need replacement, other part damaged nearly to a point beyond repair. The body was on its last legs, waiting for something to finally finish it off.

"What the fuck have you been doing?" Deanis muttered, "Why're you so damaged already?"

"Eh," Church shrugged.

"I hope you realize that there's probably no way I can repair this," Deanis said, "It'd be easier just to build you a new body, if we had the parts."

Deanis gingerly touched one of the parts, the energy conversion, or the robot's stomach. Stinging heat brushed against her skin and she pulled back. The heat had gone through her armor's suit and literally burned her fingers. That wasn't supposed to happen. Deanis backed up abit, letting the breeze blow by. Small amounts of white steam came from the insides.

Oh shit.

Deanis came back looking inside. The heating and cooling systems were fried, and any replacement parts were vapor ware.

"Christ Church," Deanis said, "This thing just barley clunking by. I'm not even sure how you're surviving in it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that your body is practically beyond repair, there isn't anything I can do for it."

"Well, maybe Sarge can fix it."

"No, Sarge can't. Dude, beyond repair is just that. Totaled. Broken. Whatever. It gone to a point where that body will check out and take you with it."

Church was silent as Deanis put pieces back together and brought the skin and tissues back to one. She got up.

"You can put your armor back on," She said solemn, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you."

She turned to walk away, when a hand grabbed her wrist. The hold was awkward, due to half of the fingers were around the suit and the other around the plating. Deanis looked at the assailant, and Church looked deep into her helmet. He had a dark look on him, magnified by that clear machine stare.

He pulled himself up using her as a weight. Even with the extra inches from his armor cut, he was still taller than Deanis. He looked down on her, giving the red the eerie feeling of being examined inside and out. One twist, one push, and Deanis was flung into the surf of the water.

"**_You SON of a BITCH_**!" She yelled, picking herself up from the salty, shallow waters, "the fuck, man?"

Church smirked humored. Deanis stomped out, ready to kick his ass but remembered the extended damage of his robot body. She couldn't just haul out and hit him, but she would hurt him if he thinks he could have his way with her. He took her by the shoulder when she got close. She tried to shrug him off, when his came up and popped the air seal to her helmet.

The helmet depressurized, and loosed. Before she could place it back, Church took the helmet. Salty ocean wind hit Deanis face, causing her to scrunch up her nose in disgust at the change. Church laughed.

"Cock bite," Deanis spat, "Give me my helmet Blue."

"You want it?" Church asked, "Fetch." He tossed the red helmet into the water. Deanis cursed and went after it. Just as she reached the water's edge, Church tackled her from behind. Her head went under, hitting the loose sand underneath. She came up, spouting profanities and salt water. Church was coughing water.

"You mother fucker!" She yelled, "I swear to God I'm gonna-"

She was cut off. Church's lips came across her own, in a strange sort of forced kiss. His skin was feverish from the shot cooling system, and ocean water gave his lips a tang kind of taste. Deanis pulled back, breaking the connection. Her own lips feeling sparked like they had fallen asleep.

"The fuck…"

Church smirked, he had done what he wanted. Deanis didn't really find the will to glare at him, or yell, or really anything. Waves lad on them.

"Hey, uh didn't that sign say something about sharks?"

There was silence.

"I'm getting out."

"Me too."

The two soldiers were dripping wet with salt water when they made it to the beach. Deanis's helmet was worse for wear at the moment, and Church didn't to be in any hurry to get his armor on.

Actually, he wasn't moving at all, his chest wasn't moving for breath, he was completely still. Deanis looked closer at him, finding his eyes lifeless and unintelligent. The robot body was in shut down, Church wasn't there. Where was he?

"Hey Deanis."

She turned, facing a white apparition. Church stood transparent and helmetless, he had a smug smile on his face. Before Deanis could react, Church rushed forward. Deanis felt something hit into her implants, and a cold liquid feeling poured on her brain. Church was in her head now.

She pushed back the extra consciousness, but found that Church wasn't trying to go on full possession, but he didn't reseed either. She still felt him, but she was in full control. It was like his mind was merely a backseat passenger. She shook her head, holding it in one hand, her skull was feeling cramped.

Then she felt something touch her, a simple poke on the abdomen. That would be impossible though, because she felt it on her skin and there wasn't anyone around. She quickly realized that Church had caused the feeling. Who knows what he would try to do.

Another poke in a softer place on her stomach, and Deanis let out a yipping sound. Then a chuckle came from her throat, and it wasn't hers. Another poke there, and Deanis yipped. The son of a bitch was screwing around with her. Pissed off, she tried to push down Church's presence, but found that he wasn't going down without a fight. Church pushed back, but wasn't going for complete repression.

Deanis walked over to the jeep nearby, trying like hell to resist crying out from the sudden feeling of fingers tap dancing on her stomach. This was one AI fight that she couldn't win. Then again, when dealing with something like Church, resistance was pretty futile.

Something touched her back, gently pressing against the scarred skin. She felt a hand, though no hand or person was there. Then her mind's eye erupted into a scene that was brought on from a memory Church must've accidentally come across on.

Her surrounding changed into a plain, filled with battle. In the distance, a blue armored soldier was facing off against an Elite. Alien vehicles fired and flew around, the whining of Ghosts, the high-pitched wails of Banshees, all familiarly painful to Deanis. She slammed into the presence in her head, and the memory dissipated, everything returned to reality once again.

Something rattle against her skull, like someone was playing baseball in her head. Then Church's presence pushed back against her, surprised and possibly angry at her sudden defiance. Deanis wasn't going to give that easily, and she shoved back. In reality, Deanis fell to her knees, holding her head as she mentally fought. And Everything was painful.

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia. Nope.<strong>

**Ooo-oOoh. Naughty naughty Church. About damn time too, it took the guy two books before he and Deanis finally started some kind of relationship.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 13 - Every Nook and Cranny**


	14. Chapter 14: We're Getting Somewhere

**Author's Note.**

**Still no sex, deal with it.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14 – We're getting somewhere<strong>

It wasn't long into the mental battle that Deanis started using physical means to keep control. She started banging her head against the side of the jeep, shaking up her implants and the AI in her head. The startling stopped and something felt like it snapped.

Then there was no fighting. Deanis thought at first that maybe her mind had been trampled, but she felt fine. She couldn't feel Church's presence though. Something felt discomforting on one half of her skull.

"What the fuck?" Church's voice blurted from Deanis's throat, her hand moved to her head, and she wasn't the one moving it. Deanis shook her head, regaining control of her hand again.

"Uhh…"

"The Hell?" Church's voice again from her own mouth, he brought her hand up, looking at it. Deanis shook the hand, forcing it shaking down.

"Church," she spoke, "You there?"

"Yeah," He spoke, "The fucks going on?"

"You know how control seems to flip with O'Malley and Doc?"

"Huh-uh."

"Then you can figure it out."

Church shook Deanis's head like it was his own. He got up from the sand, using the jeep as a pulley.

"I'm not going to do this," Church said bluntly.

"Oh? You have a different problem now?"

"You bitch."

"Asshole."

"Any how, I think that if maybe I…"

Church's presence was once again inside her skull, no longer sharing the front of the mind with Deanis.

…**_There we go_**. She heard Church's voice in her head. _**Now then, mind telling me why you had a fucking freak out?**_

"That's none of your business," Deanis snapped to no one visible, "There's private stuff in my head."

**_Sure, whatever._**

"Mind telling me what you were doing before? That kiss and the tickle torture? I thought you had a girlfriend."

**_Ex girlfriend. I can move to other girls too you know._**

"What? Your chick gay or something?"

Deanis felt someone pinch her on the ass, and she yelped, swatting behind her instinctively. There wasn't anyone there.

"Fuck, take a joke man."

**_Take a joke? How 'bout this?_**

Something bit Deanis on the connection between her collar bone and her neck. She grabbed it, only feeling the armor on her hands and the armor on the neck. Her skin was object feelings of pain, and she winced. It felt like someone's teeth.

"That fucking hurts you know." The feeling disappeared.

**_Cut me some slack, I haven't had a girl in over a thousand years._**

"So? Go bum Tex. She'd probably love it."

An invisible hand grasped Deanis's right breast, causing her to suck air sharply.

**_I've got eyes for you right now._**

The hand started caressing her breast, and someone's lips pressed against the corner of Deanis's mouth. Another kiss landed on the bottom of her cheek, and another on her jaw bone. A second hand grasped her other breast, and Deanis stifled a squeal. She didn't like how it was, what the circumstances were.

But how long has it been since she'd been flirted or even advanced on? Simmons never could complete a sentence, her and Grif have a horrible history of bitching and fighting with each other, and she was mere friends with Donut. For two/three long years, she has suppressed sexual urges in order to attain her status and rejected any who try to make a move. After what had happened with Al- Church, she no longer had any temptation for a relationship.

A kiss landed on her neck, and the hands moved lower. Deanis shut her eyes, trying not to show any kind of feeling.

**_Come on. Don't do that. I know you like it._**

"F-f-fuck off."

**_Heh. You'll see._**

A mouth covered one of Deanis's nipples, massaging it with lips and tongue. Deanis let out a choked noise, leaning on the jeep. The mouth moves down, pressing kisses on her stomach and even slipping a tongue into her naval.

It stops, and what felt like two arms wrapped around her in an embrace.

**_You haven't done this before, have you? I mean, not like this._**

"Don't you fucking dare."

**_You don't have to play macho bitch, you know. I am in your head, I know what you're feeling. Its fine, I don't care if you don't have experience._**

He wasn't lying. Deanis hadn't had a man go so far with her, and she had wondered how it would feel to have someone with her. Someone she could call hers or some shit like that. She and her first boyfriend hadn't ever done it, and Alp-… Wasn't the time to be thinking about him while he was in her head.

_**I think I should make this more… accommodating.**_

Reality shifted around Deanis, her mind being taken from the front and put into something different.

It wasn't long before the clashing beach, sound of water and salt air changed into something else entirely.

Deanis found herself under the covers of a large bed, in what looked like an apartment bedroom. Digital and moving pictures were on the walls, various faces of people She didn't know. A lamp sat on a bedside night table, it was alight but most of the room still remained dark.

Deanis sat up, and felt the bed and the blankets. She wasn't sure where the hell she was or how she got there exactly. An even better fact, she was naked under the covers.

"Hey there," Church's voice was at the bedroom door. This was about the first time Deanis had ever seen Church in civilian clothing, sky blue shirt and cargo pants. He was smiling, a cocky kind of smirk. Deanis pulled up the covers, covering her breasts.

Church walked over and sat on the bed.

"Where am I?" Deanis asked, looking unblinking at Church.

"Where are you… Well, this is my apartment. Or it was."

"Was? What do you mean by that?"

"I…"

Church furrowed his eye brows, like he was trying to remember something. Suddenly, Deanis's vision got blurry and she went numb. She made a gagging sound, and everything snapped back into place like nothing had happened.

"Sorry," Church said, tired, "You're kinda in my mind right now, or something interval, hell I don't know. Anyway, I think I almost let you go there for a second."

"The hell just happened?"

"Ye-ah, I'm pretty sure if that happens again, it might accidentally kill you."

"That's a great thought."

Church gave a small chuckle, crawled over the bed, and planted a kiss on Deanis's cheek. She found herself blushing, unable to resist any feelings she had. Maybe she wasn't naked, her mind was and it merely appeared that she was naked. The her here was a mere manifestation. Church looked tired.

"Your body is currently laying comatose," he said, "don't worry, I'm keeping an ear out."

"So, that means that this is…"

"A crossing of our minds," Church finished. He nipped at her ear, and she twitched.

"It feels real."

"I can some that up by saying that your mind makes it real."

"Do you have any idea how cliché that sounds?"

"I can't explain the technicalities if I don't know them."

Church's mouth consumed Deanis's lips, and he pushed her back into the bed. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and licked her tongue affectionately. Deanis responded by biting it. He pulled out.

"Oww." Church's tongue hung from his mouth, giving Deanis an incredulous look.

"I didn't invite you to do that," Deanis said, smirking. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and the sheet of the bed fell of from her chest revealing Deanis's breasts.

"They aren't as big as Tex's…"

Deanis kneed him in the crotch, and Church sprawled himself on her, his head into the pillow next to hers.

"My… Bad…"

One of Church's hands slide over Deanis's skin, and grasped one of her breasts. Deanis felt the rough kind of texture of his hand, hardened from something she could discern. She stilled and Church nipped at her cheek.

"Didn't think you were that horny," Deanis said.

"A thousand years gives you a few things."

Deanis didn't even think Church could get a boner. She wasn't sure… But was it possible to go through rampancy a second time? Naw, everything goes down hill the first time, its impossible to have a second rampancy. Maybe this apart of "being a person" in AI standards, all the urges to go along with it.

Or maybe… He's acting from memory.

A flash happened before Deanis's eyes, something so fast that she couldn't see what exactly had happened nor knew what it was about. All she knew was a deep sexual pleasure, and it sure as hell wasn't hers.

"You like that?" Church spoke, he hadn't moved.

"What'd you do?"

"I sent you something," Church purred, his smirk became devious. Deanis didn't like being fucked with, so she thought of something and tried it. Immediately, Church's face went blank for a split second. He came back, coughed like there was something clogging his throat.

"Shit…" He said, "…That wasn't what I had in mind."

"Don't go fucking around then."

Church stopped and looked around, like he was looking at something in the distance.

"Fuck," He said, "Someone's calling you."

Church got off the bed, resentful of who ever had interrupted his fun. Deanis wasn't sure if she felt relieved or disappointed. Then the scene changed, and she was looking up at the sky and with the smell of salt water. She sat up in the jeep, and looked about. Church's body stood, with him inside. He wasn't particularly happy by any means, and the look he gave her suggested that they'd continue what was started later.

He grabbed pieces of his armor, donned as much as he could before sprinting off with the rest. Someone was calling Deanis, and that same someone came into the beach area. Tall, shiny and pink.

"Deanis!" Donut jogged over to the jeep, "Thank god, I thought that one blue guy had kidnapped you. You aren't hurt are you? Did anything happen? Do you need a comforting massage?"

"Donut, I'm fine," Deanis spoke almost angrily, "Is anyone else awake?"

"Yeah, Sarge and Simmons. They wanted to continue looking for Lopez."

Deanis walked over and snatched her helmet, and put it on. It seemed to work fine, though it was going to smell like ocean for awhile.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>No Trivia.<strong>

**Easily one of my more f#$ed up chapters, and the fact that I'm not used to writing about it. Don't expect much like it in the current future, I hope. This'll probably satisify whoever was wondering if Church and Deanis were finally going to hook or something.**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 14 - We're Getting Somewhere**


	15. Chapter 15: Kill the Radio

**Author's Note.**

**Back to the Story!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15 – Kill the Radio<strong>

"Men, thanks for meeting on short notice. And so covertly."

Sarge had called practically called everyone to the jeep, which was useless since everyone had already been at the jeep.

"No problem," Grif said, "I had to move my lunch with the Pope, but uh, he was cool with it. He owes me. I helped him pick the hat."

"Shut it," Deanis spoke harshly.

"I don't want the blues finding out about this meeting," Sarge continued, "so I want us all to agree here and now we're gonna keep this between ourselves."

"Sir," Grif said, "I don't know if you've noticed, but we're not exactly buddy-buddy with those guys anyway."

"Eh, I'm not really in the market for new friends," Simmons said, "I'm not sure that I'm happy with the current crop."

Deanis remained silent, thinking of that mind to mind thing she and Church had several hours ago. She still had crossed feelings about that, like her insides kept tying into knots over it.

"No offense Sarge," Grif said.

"Grif, tell us what you discovered on the radio," Sarge said.

"Me?"

"Um, actually I'm the one who heard the distress signal," Simmons corrected.

"Uh huh, see I thought-"

"Yeah, I can't use the radio," Grif confirmed. More like he's too lazy to figure out how.

"Yeah, I discovered the distress signal. That was me."

"I don't know how I got that mixed up."

"It's okay sir, as long as everyone's clear, who heard it first."

"Sorry about that Simmons."

"You care how?" Deanis said.

"No really sir," Simmons continued, "it's no problem. I think it's important to get proper credit when some of us are working hard discovering distress signals on the Warthog's radio, while others are hanging out in the back seat, monkeying about!" He looked at Grif on this one.

"Okay," Grif said, "first off, monkeying about? And secondly, I don't think listening to the radio classifies as working. And thirdly, monkeying about? Come on, dude."

"It's a real phrase."

"Bullshit, that's what you said about horse-doodling."

"People say it all the time."

"What people."

"Oh lots of people, all the time. But nobody you would know."

"No need to get upset fellas," Sarge said, putting his hands on his hips, "I think we're all clear now. Simmons is the one who heard the distress signal, and Grif was the one monkeying around."

"About," Simmons corrected.

"Say who now?"

"Monkeying, about."

"Yeah, people say it all the time sir," Grif's voice dripped sarcasm, "you'll wanna get it right. Otherwise you'll sound like a jackass."

"Would everyone get to the fuckin' point already?" Deanis said, "What's the reason we're out here?"

"Yeah, what is the purpose exactly?" Grif asked.

"I wanted Simmons to tell us he heard a distress signal on the radio," explained Sarge, "Okay, go ahead Simmons."

"...Uhm," Simmons straightened up a bit, "I heard a distress signal, while listening to the radio."

"We know that already," Deanis said, "Me and Grif were at the jeep when you heard it. This entire meeting is pointless."

"I just wanna make sure everyone is on the same page," Sarge said.

"Same page? There's only one page!" Grif said, "You know what the page says? Simmons heard a God damn distress call on the radio, the end."

"Oh look, down there at the bottom it also says P.S. Grif was monkeying about," Simmons said.

"Well I can see why we don't have lots of meetings, the only person who doesn't know is Donut, and he's not even here!"

"That's because I asked Donut to distract the blues so we could have this secret meeting," Sarge spoke.

"Why Donut?" Deanis asked, "You could've sent me or even Simmons, at least we'd do a better job at it."

Someone came running up behind him, and Deanis found their tall and pink companion nearby.

"The Blues are distracted sir," Donut said happily.

"Excellent Donut," Sarge said, "Simmons, replay back the distress signal."

Simmons got back into the jeep, played around with the radio, and something spouted out.

"-Distress, distress, help, we don't need any more distress, distress, whoa man, it's a lot of distress-" the voice was high and squeaky, virtually unrecognizable.

"That's all it says," Simmons spoke, "it doesn't even say where or who."

"We know who it is," Sarge said, looking at the radio, "it's on the Red Army open channel! That means the Reds have survived in to the future. Don't cha see what this means?"

Grif sigh haggardly, "that we have absolutely no hope of ever getting out of this army."

"No, it means we must have beaten the Blues!" Sarge said in triumph, "Otherwise there wouldn't be any Reds left. Finally, victory is ours! Wait a minute," Sarge paused, "this means I missed the entire war, aw damn it!"

"Yeah, everything must be great," Grif said, "That's why they sent out a distress signal."

"Maybe it's not a distress signal," Donut suggested, "Maybe it's a distress signal, "He emphasized the DE, "Maybe it's an open invitation to some formal ball!"

"Okay, let's go with Sarge's version."

"Simmons, have you tracked the source?" Sarge asked.

"Well Sir, all I can tell is the direction, I have no idea how far it is."

"Why not? I thought you were our Unofficial Science Officer."

"That just means I'm smart. If you want me to multiply two big numbers in my head, that I can do. But I can't measure radio signals with no equipment!"

"What's thirty-two times, fifty-six?" Grif tempted.

"Thirty-one thousand, four hundred fifty-two."

"Is that right?" Sarge asked.

"Yes.'

"That's pretty impressive."

"Eh, you know, it's a gift."

"Yeah, I'm gonna call bullshit until that's proven," Deanis said.

"You have no imagination, Deanis."

"Can we find the distress signal or not?" Deanis asked.

"I can try," Simmons said.

"Right, Simmons you find where the distress signal is coming from," Sarge commanded, "Donut, you go up on the windmill and find a way we can take."

"Ay Ay Sir!" And Donut sprinted off.

Simmons started toying with the radio, messing with this and that.

"Okay," He said, "I'm ninety-five percent certain that the distress signal is coming from that way."

"Excellent work Simmons," Sarge said, "Alright men... and Grif. Let's get ready to roll."

"Only ninety-five percent certain?" Grif asked.

"Grif, if there's one thing that I've learned in working with you, it's that there's always margin for error."

"I believe he just pwned you Grif," Deanis said.

"Har har," Grif mocked, "Look who's so smart. It's pronounced margarine dumbass."

"Seriously, if I ever meet the guy that assigned you to our squad," Simmons said, "I'm gonna kill him."

"I second that," Deanis seconded.

"Well if you're ninety-five percent certain it's that way, which way's the other five percent?" Grif asked.

"Guess Dumbass," Deanis said, "All the other directions."

"Then I think that's the way we should go." Grif pointed in a random direction that wasn't Simmons's direction.

"You might be, the dumbest person I have ever met," Simmons said darkly.

"And I think you're just covering your ass."

"Hey Sarge!" Donut yelled, running up.

"What? I'm not covering my ass, you're the one trying to cover yours!"

"No way.'

"Hey your both idiots to me, okay?" Deanis joined.

"Stop arguing you three," Sarge spoke, "Simmons isn't covering his ass, and Grif certainly isn't coverin' his. No one's ass is being covered. Got it?" he turned to the pink rookie, "Donut, whadda you want?"

"Uh... is that a trick question?"

"Donut..." Sarge growled.

"Well, I was up on the windmill, and I think I found a route we can take outta here."

"Great! Simmons, load up. Donut, you back up Simmons, Deanis, you're on watch."

"Yes sir."

"Okey dokey!"

"Grif, you get in the base and distract the Blues while we get ready to leave."

"You're sending Grif?" Simmons and Deanis asked in unison.

"M'okay, be right back." Grif walked over and into the Camp Base.

"Grif!" Simmons nearly jumped up in disbelief, "Don't you remember the last time you sent him to distract Command during our surprise inspection? He told them we were all in the base doing last minute cleaning, because we all had Cholera, and we were in quarantine for a month. My ass still hurts from all the shots we got."

"I don't remember much from that," Deanis said, "I only remember that we had to sew Grif's head up because I knocked him the fuck out and he busted his head open on impact with the floor. God, I never hated needles so much."

"Yeah, you could say that again, my ass hurts too!" Donut said.

"You weren't even there."

"Oh. I thought we were just sharing stuff."

"Wait a second, you guys better not just be sending me so you can run off once I'm inside!" Grif yelled.

"Of course not moron, now hurry up!" Sarge yelled back, and Grif headed into the building, "Okay, everybody in the jeep. Now here' the plan, we leave Grif at the mercy of the blues and drive to the other reds. And when we get there, we'll radio Command and say we need a replacement, because we have absolutely no idea what happend to- oh Grif!"

Grif practically appeared next to the group, almost surprising everyone.

"What're you doing back so soon?" Simmons asked, "That was the shortest distraction of all time."

"Is somethin' wrong Grif?" Deanis asked, noticing how unnaturally still the private was, "What the hell were the blues doing?"

"You know? I can honestly say I have no idea what I just saw. Can I quit the army now? Seriously, I think I've seen everything I need to see at this point."

"If only I could make that happen, dirt bag," Sarge muttered.

"I mean it, just tell me where to turn in my gun, I'm done." He sounded defeated, if not a little freaked out. What now?

* * *

><p><strong>Still No Trivia.<strong>

**You know, about the last chapter, about what I was thinking when I wrote it. You never seem to find a fanfiction that has sex or whatnot and it fails or is interrupted. Sure its always to the point, but it'd cooler if it had other worldly affairs cutting in or something. Hence why Church was interrupted (Or the fact that I was being lazy).**

**Read, Review, Whatever.**

**Chapter 15 - Kill the Radio**


	16. Chapter 16: The Noble One

**Author's Note.**

**The Last Chapter for WarBound 3.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16 – The Noble One<strong>

"Hold a minute," Deanis said, "They were talking to the bomb?" Grif had just explained exactly what the blues were doing.

"Dude, I don't know. They mentioned something about candles and a bubble bath, and they were playing some kind of a New Age CD. It's like a Yanni fan club meeting."

"That makes no sense at all," Sarge said, "Did you wanna translate for us Pinky Pants?"

"My guess is that they're trying to get the bomb to do something for 'em," Donut replied.

"And all that sweet talk and candles will work on a bomb," Simmons pointed out.

"It would work on me!"

"Doncha see what they're tryin' to do?" Sarge exclaimed.

"No," Grif blankly, "Isn't that the point of this conversation?"

"The Blues are obviously trying to coax the bomb in to rearming. They're about to launch an attack. On us!"

"Why would they do that?"

"Because they're Blues. Somebody get this kid the manual."

"Oh-ho, I hate the Blues," Simmons chimed with angry emotion.

"That's the spirit Simmons."

And then something exploded.

"What the hell was that?"

"It sounded like a huge explosion!"

"Well no shit!"

"Chantilly lace!" Sarge yelled, "That means the Blues have rearmed the bomb."

"Wait, they rearmed it and it exploded. Isn't that good for us?" Grif pointed out.

"Grif, don't interrupt me when I'm leading in a battle situation!"

"...We're in battle?"

"Course we are, now get ready for your orders. Donut!"

"Yes sir!"  
>"Scream like a woman!"<p>

"Can do!" Donut immediately started screaming in an unnaturally high pitch that nearly caused Deanis's ears to blow out. He started running frantically, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Grif!"

"What."

"Prepare to sacrifice yourself to save a nearby superior officer."

"I don't think I've been trained on that."

"Simmons, kiss ass at will."

"You're both an excellent leader, and a handsome man Sir."

"Excellent work Simmons."

"Incoming!" Deanis yelled, and she, Grif and Sarge slammed into the dirt, narrowly missing getting hit with an on-coming rocket. It exploded behind them.

"Grif, you're up," Sarge said.

"Permission to assist Donut, Sir."

"Permission denied," Sarge said, getting up with the rest of his soldiers, "Continue with Operation Meat shield. Remember, just 'cause your bones are broken doesn't mean they won't stop bullets from hitting me! Now get out there."

"Good call Sir!" Simmons said, another explosion in the distance.

"You're on your way to a medal, Simmons. In fact, medals all the way around. Purple Heart for Grif, Pink Heart for Donut, and a Brown Nose for Simmons." Another explosion.

"What does Deanis get?"

"A Boot to your head."

"Should we move sir?" Deanis asked.

"Yeah," Sarge said, "I think they're distracted. Let's use this chance to slip away."

"Great idea, Sir," Simmons said, "I have a lock on the distress signal. We can head right for it."

"Good thinking Simmons. Everybody in the jeep."

"Shotgun!" Grif, Simmons and Deanis said in unison. Simmons first.

"Fuck."

"Fucking A."

"Shotgun's lap!"

"Fuck!"

"There's just no room for five people. Someone, or someones, will have to jog alongside," Sarge said, "Grif?"

"Jog? What's that?"

"It's like running slowly, dear God you don't know what jogging means?" Simmons said.

"Yeah, you lost me at running. Sorry, it's not in my contract."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll do it," Donut volunteered, "Just give me one second while I put my jogging shorts on."

"Wait. I wanna reconsider."

"Who wants to hold my ankles while I stretch out my hammies?"

"Noone's fallin' for that twice, Donut."

"I'll second the Jog," Deanis said.

The jeep and the two joggers started their run. The jeep being slow for the two running so they wouldn't be left in the dust. How ever, the vehicle had skidded, hitting a strange dome thing and catching the attention of what looked like a bad replica of Lopez. They left the base area.

"One of them's following us!" Grif yelled from the gunner position. Sarge stopped the jeep.

"We're going too slow. We have to leave someone behind."

"Not it," Simmons and Grif said as Donut and Deanis caught up to the jeep.

"What? No way! You're leaving us behind?" Donut exclaimed.

"Sorry Donut," Sarge said, "but military law is very clear in regard to the _Not It_ methodology for making decisions. Though we could make the exception with Grif and switch him out for Deanis."

"Sorry Sir," Deanis said, "I ain't leaving Donut here."

Sarge grumbled.

"Here he comes!" Grif yelled.

"Donut, you hide here and wait for the guy tailing us. Then when he passes, shoot him square in the back and watch him die. Just like John Wayne would have done."

"Hurry up guys, he's getting closer!" Grif said, "No wait, no he, yeah he is getting closer. No, yes!"

"All this retreating, and shooting people in the back, doesn't sound very noble," Donut noted.

"We're not retreating, we're advancing! Towards future victory!" Sarge said.

"Yeah yeah, all that shit, but on track here, how are we going to find you guys?" Deanis said.

"Just follow the distress signal to its source, you'll find us there," Simmons explained.

"We don't have a way to track it."

"…Excellent Point Deanis." Sarge went back into the jeep, and drove off.

"Thanks sir," Deanis growled. She and Donut started looking at the on coming Lopez replica. It was walking possibly a mile an hour.

"Looks like we can kill some time," Donut said.

"Yep."

Silence.

"Wanna go find out what the attack is about?"

"Yeah sure, why not."

Donut and Deanis ran back into Camp Foreman, and noticed the small amounts of slow Lopez replicas firing strange plasma weapon onto the base. Easily avoidable, the two spotted someone they had been looking for earlier. Or rather two people. Lopez's head was sitting on the edge of a outer upper floor to a ramp. The second was in Purple armor with a rocket launcher strapped to his back.

"O'Malley," Deanis whispered as the two reds ducked behind nearby rocks.

"Huhuh, soy un pendejo púrpuras que gusta tomar aceite," O'Malley spoke aloud, causing Deanis and Donut to become confused.

"Why is he insulting himself?" Donut asked, "Qué curioso."

"Hold a minute," Deanis said and turned to Donut, "You can understand Spanish, and you didn't tell us!"

"Well… Nobody asked."

"Bullshit dude, you even told me that you couldn't understand Lopez."

"He isn't exactly speaking proper Spanish though."

"So? Relativity. It shouldn't be that hard."

"But its only high school Spanish."

"How old are you then?"

"Eighteen…"

"Yeah, you've got no excuse."

Deanis spotted something purple. It was the Ghost O'Malley had, parked nearby and unguarded. She had an idea.

"Donut, there's that vehicle," Deanis pointed at it, "Use it to catch up with Sarge and the others."

"Huh? But what about you? I don't wanna leave you alone with this guy."

"I'm a big girl Donut, I've dealt with idiots for years, I can take care of this."

"Yeah, But still…"

Deanis had known Donut for a long time, and it easy to say that they were practically best buddies, even they are from opposing sides of the tracks. The sort of yin yang of things. Deanis would defend Donut, and Donut in return would advise Deanis. This vaguely gave Deanis a sense of Déjà vu, almost reminding her of another pair of buddies who did the same

"Don't worry, I'll follow behind."

"What do I say to Sarge then?"

"They'll him I'm infiltrating the blues or something, he eats that stuff up."

Donut nodded rather reluctantly.

"Just… Come back."

"Will do…" Deanis said, "Franklin."

"Got it, Adel."

Donut rushed off and took the Ghost, riding it away. Even running over the guy that had been slowly stalking them. Deanis released a breath, and prepared to attack O'Malley. She wanted pay back.

Something exploded, catching everyone's attention and causing O'Malley to run from sight. Damn!

Several other explosions, blue and smoking as the replicas blossomed from plasma grenades.

Deanis gripped her M6D, sneaking against the nearest wall and getting closer to the scene. She saw a large shadow dart away, and O'Malley screaming while firing a gun. Then painful silence. She stiffed swallowing her breath and stepped closer.

She found the purple armor, sprawled near a formation of rocks. No indication of whatever had attacked.

"Madre!" A monotone voice said. Deanis turned.

"Lopez?"

Instead of Lopez, body or head, a large thing loamed above Deanis. Mandibles, blue armor, golden eyes, inhuman. Alien. Deanis froze, rotten breath from the creature hitting against her visor. She was a statue, and it felt like she wasn't even in her body anymore, like she was merely the passenger looking through the eyes.

_So she's a shadow._

_Don't call her that, it's unfair to her._

_Why can't you move on? It's unfair to me, Al._

Deanis found her self hitting the ground from the impact of the butt of a Covenant weapon. She coughed, tasting metal and salt.

_I failed her. I'm not about to fail on you._

_That's all you see right? You see her as me._

_You have been called forth to serve._

The creature, the Elite looking alien, stomped forward. Deanis found that she couldn't get up. Mere fragments of memories hit her mind as she tried to clear.

_Because I'm a shadow of a man who couldn't forget._

_I'm not him!_

_Haval…_

Deanis looked up, and the world turned black as a hoofed foot came down on her helmet.

_… I love you._

* * *

><p><strong>Trivia.<strong>

**Noble One - **This is a refrence to Reach.

**Deanis isn't dead, but she'll remained knocked out until Book 4.**

**Now then, Whose this Haval character? Was that just a series of memory sequences? Was Alpha just called "Al"? Stay Tuned for more.**

**Red vs Blue WarBound Book 3: Cause and a Mass Effect.**

**VirTaAshi signing out... For Now.  
><strong>


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